I’m 30 years old and have never been in a relationship. I wrote a whole thing but keep rambling on too much so I’m just going to condense it to the fundamentals. I’m a total dud at the USA, women really are uninterested in me romantically and no woman ever reciprocated a crush on me and I was always left in the dust and have therefor never been “a part” of the dating scene in any way, which is pretty sad and bleak but it’s something you have to accept about yourself at some point (I say that as though I don’t literally cry about this stuff a couple of times of month lol).
However I feel like the few times I’ve felt even somewhat confident, like a real man, were times when I’ve traveled to other places. Whether it’s a music festival or a city in a foreign land, I feel as though my vibe really lights up and I’m a much more fully realized version of myself when I’m traveling. I think this mostly has to do with the confidence that comes from feeling as though you have purpose, and that you are accomplishing something in some sense just by putting yourself out there in a real way. Last year I traveled a bunch and I kissed several cute girls and actually went on dates with women and, at 29 years old, I lost my “official” virginity to a woman I met and then, like a normal human being who isn’t socially inept, hooked up after taking her out to lunch. But then you come back home, and it’s as though none of that mattered. I mentioned music festivals and when I was younger I obviously never did much physical wooing, but I met interesting, beautiful, sweet girls who I had nice times with and at least one or two of them I stayed in contact with and met back up with (not sure if I would call them dates but what the hell is a date anyway?).
It’s as though I check a lot of the marks, but there is something holding me back from having the confidence or developing the basic social skills to just be able to date, at least on the level that I think I deserve. I don’t get any likes on tinder, hinge, ect., and I never get attention in real life, so I think on some level I clearly am not anything above a 6 at best even though in my mind I’m a 7.5-8, but clearly I have absolutely zero confidence and it’s become a bit of a self fulfilling prophesy. At the end of the day even when traveling it’s not like I’m Tom Hardy, women aren’t coming up and calling me papi lmao but for whatever reason that doesn’t hold me back from at least not being totally discouraged, where as I feel that my brain has been wired to assume I’m undesirable when local and I mostly don’t even bother making an attempt at this point.
Sorry for the long winded rambling, I’m really bad at being concise. But can anyone relate? Were you able to transfer that confidence domestically/locally? How can I begin to emulate in my everyday life the confidence and purpose I exude while traveling and having adventures?