Men who have sisters, do you feel there are differences in your upbringing versus your sisters’ upbringing that affect how you interact with the world as adults? Do you think these differences are beneficial or harmful?

24 comments

1. Oh yeah they have no responsibilities and have more respect than I. Doesnt get blamed on for everything and just get to live life.

2. There’s was no difference in upbringing. We still have our likes and dislikes.

   From what my parents told me, when we were young we were the stereotypical boy and girl (aka boy likes blue and maths and machines and wants a toy car, girl likes pink and books and animals and wants dolls). We grew up to not be bound by such stereotypes, so I have difficulties thinking that such preferences are 100% taught and are not inherent to each gender. Also we played a lot together and that usually used both toy types (cars/buildings and dolls on the other hand)

   Anyway, not any difference in upbringing that I can think of, and we view the world a bit differently but not by much.

3. I fucking hate my sisters.

4. No. My sister was expected to work or go to school, preferably both. We were treated fairly growing up

5. Yeah, my dad spent most of his time when working or tinkering with me but i never really ever found any of that interesting and only hung out with him to spend time with him. I learned how to control my anger and let go of grudge’s minutes after the whatever had happened, since my worked with my dad and fought with him over work things i learned that pretty fast haha, but made me realize being angry and wasting your life angry at others was just a waste of time and to just focus on you and what youre doing. My sisters spent more time with my mom and both are a little controlling and get angry pretty fast but theyre both sweethearts too

6. Yeah, so… um.. yeah.

   Divorced parents. Mom hated men. The root of all the world’s evils. So I was treated differently. Lived in a two bedroom apartment. Mom had one room. Older sister had the other. I had a 6 foot long by 4 foot wide hallway that I blocked off with a bookshelf on one end and our living room sofa on the other. I was a boy, so privacy wasn’t necessary. Changing was fun. I enjoyed the tiny penis jokes. Helps a 8-14 year old build confidence and self esteem. I’m going to stop there.

   At 14 I moved out to live my father and step mom. Spent the next four years being asked every couple of months if I was gay because I didn’t like sports and wasn’t all that into girls. There’s more, but again, stopping. They had a daughter of their own. She’s currently working on her Doctors degree paid for by my father mostly and was gifted a brand new car from dad because her job requires travel. When I was college age, i was told to figure it out in my own. I didn’t. I was told that as a man, he doesn’t need to worry about me because I can handle myself.

   I’m a fucking mess. Almost 50 and I barely keep it together. I’m trying, I really am. I have a good job. Keep smiling. Be strong. Fight through it and work hard.

   All I can do is learn from the things they did and try and be better for my kids. I don’t know if I am. I like to think I am, but that’s for my son’s and daughter’s to decide.

   And to clarify, I love my sister’s. I don’t fault them at all. My older sister got my through a lot growing up. And I beat the hell out of a lot of people who dared to say an unkind word about her, because that what men do. It’s one of the only thi gs we’re good for.

   God, I hope this is what you were asking because actually looking at it and typing it out has me a bit twisted at the moment.

7. i have 8 sisters. The main difference is who your parent combo was. that really determined if you grew up well or if you struggled. some partents were head an shoulders above others.

8. Father died when I was 8, mother never remarried. Middle child and only boy in the family. I’ve never felt like I belonged at all, and am constantly talked down to because my mother and sisters are incredibly hostile towards men. All of my natural instincts have been ground down to something that doesn’t quite work at all. There’s so much more but I simply can not articulate it at all.

9. I had an older sister. We are two different people so we were of course treated differently, but not over something like love. Our parents care for all of us.

   I think life would be different if I never had a sister, but not drastically. Mostly because it was a sibling I wouldn’t have grow up with. Alot of my childhood is intertwined with my siblings.

   I’m not sure if beneficial or harmful is correct to describe my situation. It just is. There’s not perks or disadvantages to having my sister. I’m glad she was in my life, but I’m also glad most people who are in my life are in my life.

10. Yes, and harmful. I’m old enough that when I was in school, boys couldn’t take home ec and girls couldn’t take shop class. A lot of my socialization, and that of my siblings, included lots of things that were gendered for no sensible reason whatsoever, except just that’s how it was. My parents pushed back a little, but not a lot; I guess you can’t expect a fish to think too much about water.

11. Yes there was a huge difference. My sister got the shit end of the stick while watching me and our little brother get everything.

12. The arguments my sister would get into with my mother, would have had my dad beat me to within an inch of my life if it had been me. They even ended up slapping each other occasionally! If I swore at my mother I would get physically ejected from the house.

13. I’m the oldest of 3. My siblings and I grew up differently and being taught different lessons based on who we were and what our temperament was by our dad. I’m confrontational, my middle sis is a smart ass. My dad said I should restrain myself and not kick the hell out of other kids for pissing me off. He didn’t want to hear about me beating the dog shit out of someone. I overheard this same talk for my sister but he said he didn’t want to hear about or see her get her ass kicked because she wouldn’t shut her mouth and stop being a smart ass because it’s not always worth it. He wanted us to be careful. My dad is smart. He has a strong grasp on reality. He created a non abusive childhood for us even though he was beaten by his dad and stepdad. He broke the cycle. I love him for that amongst everything else.

14. For sure, sisters are very coddled, even with one now in her 30’s.

    Personally I feel I benefited though. Became more independent like a decade before my eldest sister.

    One thing I’ve hung on to though.

    I was told Hockey was too expensive a sport for me to get into… But also we near moved to Florida for a Summer so my sister could attend a ballet camp for 6 weeks.

15. Yes. My asshole father violated my sister in a way he couldn’t violate me.

16. Oldest of 4 siblings, all my other siblings are girls im the lone male. I dont think i had a very manly man upbringing. I am highly empathetic and aware of female needs and wants more so than males. I was the clear favourite from my siblings especially from my mother and grandmother. I lack that confidence and assertiveness that makes men my age successful. My sisters are all successful either studying at university and stabely employed or married and happy.
    Once my mum passed away and my grandmother my life fell to pieces (and yes i have made mistakes and have a criminal record).
    I sometimes wonder what pathway my life may have taken if i chose to live with my dad and my step siblings at that time.

    My sisters had different hurdles from mine higher expectations from my mother i guess. But they are thriving, i am in neutral. Unsure of what to do or where i want to go with my life and career (the career has been the hardest one to pin down, i cannot stand mundane shit and a job with no purpose or deeper meaning) i did attend uni but failed multiple courses once my mother passed.

    I generally find it hard to communicate with men where as women tend to be easier to talk too.

17. Oh God yeah. I was basically thrown to the wolves growing up. I’m extremely independent and motivated now. My younger sister was coddled and as an adult has never really taken charge of her life.

18. I definitely had more freedom growing up, compared to my sisters. Ultimately, these were small freedoms that didn’t have much of an impact in our adult life.

19. My sister is 12 years older than me and we turned out the complete opposites. I’m far more socially apt than her but she’s a workhorse when it comes to her job. We’re both fan of arts. Mine is music, hers is traditional. I feel like growing up with an older sister forced me to completely separate myself personality wise

20. I think the only difference was that when we were in high school, the parent were a little more strict with our sister being home on time with curfew and wasn’t allowed to go to certain parties.

    Basically the logic was, well, the boys can’t get knocked up.

    Other than that little gem, we were all treated the same.

    We all managed to get to adulthood without any teen pregnancies.

21. They are over 30 with own families and they live without parents from the moment they were 21-22, and i’m 24 living with parents without perspectives for future lol

22. No idea.

23. I’d be shocked if a single person who has a sibling of a different gender didn’t have differences in how they were treated. Almost everyone, even if they don’t realize it, has different perceptions of men and women. This leads to(sometime subconscious) differences in how parents raise kids.

    I don’t necessarily think this is a bad thing, society treats men and women different too so they need different skills going into the world.

24. Yep.

    I was punished for everything regardless of how small usually by being beaten. She was able to get caught drinking in school, running away from home for a week, jumping the school fence and leaving for days on end etc etc. without getting anything near as bad as what I did.

    We were completely treated differently growing up. So from my perspective I’m literally Satan incarnate