Going to a Friendsgiving and a girl I really really like is gonna be there. I’m bringing a lot of food too lol. I’ve been grinding w grad school and the gym but I’m still overweight and she’s the fit amazing funny girl. I really wanna shoot my shot, but every fiber in me says I don’t stand a chance. Any tips? Does the ugly guy who’s working on himself ever get a shot?
26 comments
There is a chance she says yes but don’t get your hopes up to high. Go and have fun, be yourself, talk with her, shoot your shot. When she says no play it cool and keep having fun with your friends and stay cool around her. It she says yes then just keep it up.
Give it a shot man, leagues don’t really exist it’s just all in your head
Don’t let fear stop you. Take the shot !
If I’m being honest some of your language makes it seem like low self esteem might be a barrier in connecting with her.
Best tip would be to have a fun day with the group and maybe approach her privately on the way out or towards the end to avoid any awkwardness during the holiday if she just want to be friends.
If she says no it could be for a million different reasons about her life or situation, so try not to see it as reinforcement that your looks or her league are to blame.
There is no “league” what you are doing by saying that she is “out of your league” is making the decision for her.
The reason for making the decision for her is often fear of rejection.
But there is something far worse than rejection. That is regret. Imagine 20 years from now, you run into her at the bank, her kids are in the car, you are chatting, she says to you “I was so into you, I gave you so many hints, but you never asked me out, I always assumed that it was because of my (her most endearing qualities)
Talk to her.
There is no league.
Just don’t be weird, keep everything casual, and be confident. If she does give you the time of day, be cool about it don’t freak out or get too attached. If she does not give you the time of day brush shoulders off and move on. There is no shame in getting turned down. It happens to the best of us.
The girl I’m seeing now is way outta my league looks wise. But we’re very compatible personality-wise. You never know who you’ll be compatible with. Only word of advice is not to compliment her looks at all. If she’s hot, she hears it all the time. Just try to talk to her and see if the conversation flows. It’s about the dynamic between two people, not leagues
Girls often like someone who can provide so her dreams can come true. Being optimistic about your future is your best approach, IMHO…
Be nicer to yourself. I briefly glimpsed over your profile, and I’m so sorry you feel this way. Your self improvement – and self love! – will come and it’ll feel fantastic.
But for the matter at hand: be confident! Try to make jokes (and if they fail, make a joke out of it!), talk yourself up, and breathe. If she’s not interested you will tell. If she is, then, hey, this could be amazing!
I’ve noticed that when girls are interested we tend to angle our bodies towards them, look at them more, hit our friends in the arm when they enter a room, our friends tend to tease us about it/hype us up and may be tempted to say something to you
If she’s not interested her body language is going to be more rigid, she wont do anything physical (ie- fixing hair/clothes, hugs, arm touches), and her demeanor will seem more friendly than romantic
Be nice to yourself, accept the fact that she might say no, and move forward. You’ll never know until you try.
Good luck, wishing you well, and I hope my advice helps even if it’s mostly anecdotal
Stop thinking she’s out of your league, the more you think that the more the 3D will play that. Watch subconsiousloz on tiktok/youtube. Build your self concept up and you can really have whoever you want!!
Hard to say without knowing how well you already know each other
Speaking as a girl, looks are like the least important aspect of attraction – focus on building a connection and also being confident/taking control of situations, making her/those around you feel safe and take an active interest in what she has to say, bonus if you can make her laugh
They’re two possible scenarios one she is out of your league the none issue just have fun. Scenario 2 you came here looking for a pep talk well you obviously have low self-esteem so just have fun and treat it like not issue. It’s kind of weird how just like not freaking out. Almost appears as confidence. I would look into some social anxiety coping techniques though.
Don’t !! Yes, leagues exist. A fat broke man that does nothing except smoke weed and play video games with zero social skills will never be able to get a super attractive girl.
For you I’d say, work on your body, work on your confidence, work on your social skills, work on having a better social network and then shoot your shot. Remember you’re not the only one that finds her attractive, other guys who are more attractive than you do too. Work on yourself first and avoid a bad rejection which will make things awkward among you. Plus she will also tell her friends about the weirdo that tried to attract her.
Leagues exist, don’t be lied to
I’m a thin girl with a fat boyfriend. Trust me, you could absolutely get with a girl you find attractive *but:* You need confidence, charisma and chemistry. Not everyone will be charmed by confidence cause you’ll need to have plenty in common, banter, and general compatibility. This girl might also not find you attractive despite these qualities and that happens, but don’t let yourself down over it.
My boyfriend isn’t ugly but I don’t believe you are either, and ugly people also still get somebody. (I’m not sure I ever find somebody ugly unless they have terrible hygiene or personality). Leagues in terms of appearance are stupid af cause I don’t believe they really exist or should exist. A lot of love sees past appearance and beauty is subjective anyway.
I find my bf very attractive, fat or not! Just stay kind, groomed, dress nicely and smell good. Doing that makes you instantly more attractive 🙂
Wtf is a friendsgiving?
Good luck!
Just give it a shot and the thing about leagues, its just in your head…
either way, you wont be losing, you’ll either get closer to her or gain experience on what to do next time(with the same person or with someone else).
Try to talk to her 1-1 on the way out or just when you bump into each other
Good luck, hope it goes well!
Talk to her and spend time with her so you can start to feel comfortable being around her and eventually, you will be able to ask her out confidently. Good luck!
Don’t put other people on a pedestal and lower yourself. Everyone is human, she’s just a girl. You need to consider yourself a 10 in the making at all times, even when you’re nowhere close to achieving the goals you set for yourself. Above all make sure you enjoy yourself with the homies. Throw a flirtatious comment to the girl every now and then to test the waters and if you feel like taking the plunge then do it.
Some comments here are shallow and harsh—ignore them. Some say you absolutely have a chance with this ‘girl’ you admire, and they are right, BUT: as long as “every fiber” in you says you don’t have a chance, you really don’t. If you think relationships are all about looks, you don’t understand relationships, or women. While some may be oriented towards appearances or status, the majority are looking for a connection. We want to feel understood, respected, valued, and have fun, with a balance between moving toward our dreams, and enjoying life in the moment– – ideally both at once. 🙂 If you really want a “shot“ with her, you’ve got to VALUE YOURSELF. If you don’t believe you have a good offer, she’s not going to believe it, because you really don’t. Appreciating her is a good start, but it’s not enough. She might want someone who’s fun and funny too, or is a steady presence, or takes initiative, or who is honest and listens, or is working on himself and optimistic about life. You might match up, or you might not, but if you don’t believe in your potential together, don’t bother. If you DO offer her something good, offer it openly but without pressure, and you have a good shot. (P.s., This has nothing to do with dating that woman, but if you really want to lose weight, it’s actually more dependent on what you eat than what you do at the gym.;))
You already lost the game when you think she’s out of your league brother.
Go to the Friendsgiving knowing that you’re the man. Be yourself. Let her come talk to you.
There’s plenty of fish in the sea.
-> focus on yourself and have fun.
-> Keep hitting the gym, wear some nice clone, brush your teeth, clean your face, & focus on your purpose.
What’s a friend giving?
Adjust your thinking. If you really like this girl (or any girl really) focus on building your relationship with her. NOT on shooting my shot for a romantic relationship < that’s all or nothing thinking.
Reference [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/coolguides/comments/ejbpo2/levels_of_friendship/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) . It seems like right now you’re at a level 2 relationship with her. Work on moving her up a level so you guys spend more time together. As you get to know her you can learn more about her and what’s she’s looking for. A woman is more likely to say yes romantically to someone she considers a friend than a total stranger since there’s trust and familiarity there. Play the slow game not the gunshot ‘you wanna be together or nah’
You know how when you’re with your best buds and you’re just regular you who doesn’t think of these kinds of things? Do that around her. Just be regular chillin with friends you.
It’s friendsgiving and you’ve been invited, so I can only assume you know most of these people and are comfortable around them. So why change that around her in that same environment?
Hope that helps a bit. Best of luck friend!
Relax, have fun and try to feel confident about yourself.
Also, what the hell is Friendsgiving? Looks like I’m missing out on some good stuff :o.