Okay this is gonna make me go crazy… Ive literally came under 10 secs for the very first time…..

Im posting this here because i really dont know what to do rn i know its all mental and shit but still i feel terrible and im embarrassed of myself and cant even look at my gfs eyes… I’ll take it from the start and introduce myself a little so that yall can understand it better. As an attractive (so they call me) 19 year old male ive always been popular around girls and wherever i go i got attention all the time so I was actually pretty confident about myself at almost anything especially when it comes to bedroom until today ofc… I’ve lost my virginity when i was around 15 and since then i was sexually active i had no trouble about premature ejaculation it literally never even crossed my mind cuz i was mentally confident and physically active also i did kegel exercises a lot so that i can boost my time with all that being said ill tell you guys what exactly happened today. Also before that i must tell that i was not a relationship person before i couldn’t keep them they lasted like max 2 weeks all the time cuz due to my mental struggles at that time i didnt really feel anything towards someone so yeah i stopped dating for a while (like 2 years) so that i wouldn’t broke any other girls’ heart cuz even if i try i just couldnt connect with someone and it felt like i was lacking that emotion so i was just hanging out till i met my gf. The way we met and how our relationship formed was literally beautiful and we are in a healthy relationship as we speak and i love her a lot like a LOT shes the first person to make me feel anything towards someone. so i care about her a lot her being satisfied and happy is my priority rn. When we were talking about sex she told me that she doesnt really enjoy any stimulation around her vulva and i was like (to myself) what the hell? how can someone not enjoy cunnilingus and other wonderful things so i told to myself that i was gonna change her idea so yeah i put hella pressure on myself to sexually satisfy her and that lead to the events that had occured today and shattered my confidence like a piece of glass. So today we were at her house studying (btw we are majoring physics so we spend shit ton of time studying) and then it led to kissing and other shit after a hella time of foreplay she wanted to give me a blowjob and took my pants off i was quite nervous not only because i wanna make everything even better and satisfy but her dad was literally in the house so i was like triple nervous after she started to give me a blowjob i felt incredibly sensitive and couldn’t control myself didnt even edge for one time and literally came in her mouth under 20 secs… She laughed it off by saying it was barely 20 secs but i literally died right there like everything that i build and practiced for was gone. After bragging about how long i last i barely lasted 20 secs. That..felt.. terrible… literally the worst feeling that ive ever felt, Ive zoned out there and while she was tryna confront me and make me feel better I couldn’t even look her in the eyes ive literally froze and after a while i told her that i was sorry. I was so embarrassed of myself couldn’t even talk or lift my head up. I know that the critical and the most important part about lasting long is the mental part im aware of it but because of what happened today Ive literally lost all of my confidence and mentality. Im literally scared of having an intercourse rn and i dont know what to do and how to fix it and i dont have anyone that i can talk this through. What happened today will literally haunt and hurt me until I fix this problem. So please help…