A man took me out on a “date”. I was really excited, blew off a work project, got new heels, a dress, and was excited to be wined and dined. I really did put in a lot of time, money, and energy trying to impress him and be good company.
I didn’t ask him about whether he was paying and expected him to pay since he asked me out. When the bill came, he just gave me a blank stare. I asked him if he was taking care of it and he just said “No”.
I got visibly upset and he started bragging about other women that wanted him, then threatened to get up and leave if I didn’t pay. I panicked about being left with the whole bill.
He said we could split it and we both put in our cards. Turns out, he had actually LOCKED his card. The waitress came back and said “I’m really sorry, his card didn’t work” and she told me my card got charged for BOTH meals.
Wanting to be “nice”, I didn’t complain, I just said that’s okay and signed the check, but I’m wondering if this was my legal obligation. Can I complain to the restaurant?
I feel as though it was not fair he bullied me into paying for him and I got screwed over for trying to be a good person and pay my share out of respect for the restaurant, even though it was a date HE asked me on. But then the restaurant charged me for BOTH meals because this guy locked his card.
The guy also seemed very, very pleased with himself that he didn’t need to pay and wouldn’t leave a tip either, so I had to put down the little cash I had (20) too. It was 100 for both plus tip and this guy refused to pay anything and bullied me into paying for him by locking his card. I’m not sure what else I could have done and feel really bad about the whole thing
TLDR: Guy bullied me into paying and I was really really shocked and unsure how to handle it
5 comments
https://www.unddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/z0dijz/is_it_entitled_for_a_woman_to_expect_you_to_pay/
I’d probably say “Holy hell, I’m trapped in that stupid spammer’s story”
I would’ve told the waitress in the moment that you only wanted to be charged for your share, so if she could fix that, it would be great.
This is pretty shitty of him, particularly since he didn’t even offer to cover his half with cash, Venmo, PayPal, etc.
This sounds like some sort of game he plays to boost his own ego. It sucks you got caught in it.
I trust you’re not going on a 2nd date with this character.
You could take him to Small Claims Court, and likely win at least half the bill imo, if not the full amount. But, I’d treat it as a life lesson.
The asker customarily pays, and if you’d taken that view at the restaurant (and could prove it via texts from him on your phone), I think they’d have him in the back washing dishes until he’d paid off his debt imo.
(and yes, your Post’s familiar –are you traumatized enough to spam the forums about it?)
Call your credit card company and cancel the charge if money is such an issue. And don’t ever go to that restaurant again obv.
If you’re over 18, you should pay for your share since you’re an adult, if in high school, probably should still pay but not expected.