I have amazing friends who are compassionate, kind-hearted, friendly, and passionate. They are incredibly extroverted though. And that’s not a problem in itself but whenever I’m having a 1-on-1 conversation with them, they tend to take up the entire conversation. They tend to talk a lot— mostly about themselves. It makes me feel drained. How can I tell my friends that I love dearly that our conversations feel a little one-sided without sounding like “I need all the attention on me”?
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Sometimes we outgrow our friends, and it’s time to move on. If you’ve been friends for a long time then you should certainly address this issue with them. Tell them how you feel. If they are true friends they’ll understand and work on giving as much as they take.
When I was younger I had friendships that were mostly equal give and take. We’d rejoice together, we’d cry together, we’d tell each other the uncomfortable things no one else wants to say, etc. They were the friends who you could pick right back up with after months or years of not talking. You ask about their life and what’s new, and they ask about yours. And you both truly cared about each other.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve found it’s hard to make true deep connections. Most people just want someone there to dump on. It IS extremely draining. Friendships, while at times a rollercoaster, are supposed to nourish our souls.
I’ve also been in your place where I had friends who would speak daily and always complain about their relationship, or their struggles, etc., but never really cared to hear about you. You’d always be there for them, BUT when you were struggling you were met with, “I don’t have time for YOUR shit, I have enough to deal with.” Those are the ones you distance yourself, or walk away, from.