I [17m] have been seeing a girl we’ll call Emily [33f]. Emily and I have mostly just slept together and watched tv when we hung out, but recently we started getting coffee together and texting each other all the time.
Yesterday we were cuddling after sex, and the conversation went like this:
Me: “How long will you be in grad program for by the way?”
Her: [giggles] “Are you asking me that because you want to be in a real relationship”
Me: “I was just curious but now that you bring it up: I’m sure you can tell how much I love spending time with you. I want to spend more time with you, hopefully you feel the same. Let’s start dating for real if you’re open to that.”
Her: “I would be open to that, that sounds good with me”
But what do I do now? Does our relationship suddenly change? I have never gone from FWB to GF so I don’t know what concretely I do differently (aside from not hooking up with other people) now that we are “dating”.
Tl;DR: Was seeing a FWB, asked her to be my GF, she agreed, what do i do now?
11 comments
That’s a big age gap. It’s worth asking yourself why she can’t/won’t find a partner her own age.
Your ‘girlfriend’ is an adult fucking a teenager. God only knows what she would consider a relationship. Introduce her to your parents. See how that goes.
Honey why are you with such an old woman? That is so gross. She is a predator
You need a girl your age. 33 is a huge gap and she is an adult where your still technically a kid. The fact she had to find a 17 year old to date tells you something.
First of all I’m 100% with everyone screaming age gap, but instead of attacking you or making an atypical comment let’s give usable advice.
Typically, going from fwb to officially dateing means exclusivity. You should, however, actually say that and make sure you’re 100% clear. Next up it does mean the same amount of time having sex but more communicating and going out to you know, date.
The things I do strongly suggest are consider your age gap in how you communicate and set expectations. Why are you 2 at similar points in life when she has 15 years on you as an adult? Why does your wisdom and ideology match so well, or does it at all? Why are her goals and your similar enough to date and will that change in a few months or years when you get more serious?
She has had 15 years to get to where she is. There has to reasons you match up well, both good and bad. That said you have to find those and decide if they are deal breakers or not. You also need to have alot more discussions about the future than a normal couple. Her bio clock is going to be ticking in a few years and you won’t even be 21. Alot to consider. Good luck
How old is your mum? If she’s within a few years of this woman, that should tell you that she’s too old for you.
She clearly has issues because no well adjusted adult would be attracted to a teenager.
She is a sick predator. Find someone your age not someone old enough to be your mother.
Please get away from this woman. Tell your parents so they can help you keep her away. I’m around her age and I can tell you that there is something profoundly wrong with her. You should look and seem like a child to someone her age.
One of my friends got preyed on by a woman pedo when he was your age. It screwed him up really bad. His pattern to this day is to push away kind women and go straight for the abusers. He’s never learned what it means to be in a healthy, equal relationship and it’s tragic. I don’t want the same for you. Please get away from this predator.
Is she your instructor?
Woah you’re 17 and she’s 33. That’s just creepy man (on her end). Get out and find a girl your age
You’re not ‘dating’. You’re a victim of sexual predation. Gtfo. Like immediately. Tell your parents, who hopefully will contact local authorities and get this pedo off the streets.