I’m seeking advice on my current relationship situation.
Background history: I’m 23 and in the nursing program, I took a break from school and have a year and a half to go to finish. My partner is 28 and already graduated college and now is working to buy a house in the future. We have been together close to a year but have been living together for four months .
Prior to living together I was living with my parents however I was kicked out due to an argument I had with my mom and I was also planning to leave the house as well due to unsafe/ toxic environment. Due to this I had to put school on hold and find a job and a place to live. I didn’t have a car and my boyfriend would help me out a little by driving me to places here and there but for the majority I was using Uber for transportation.
Shortly after , I was thinking of leaving my new place because my roommates were dirty and threw parties every weekend. My boyfriend saw this and he convinced me to move in with him and his friends so I could save money on rent and be able to buy a car as well . At the end my monthly bills was the same with the car as to just paying for the rent with the old roommates.
Fast forward a couple of months, my boss makes me work part time from home . This puts me in a tight spot with my bills. I start looking for jobs and can’t find anything with a decent wage to live and to be able to save some money for school as well. My plan was to go back to school full time in March. I also start talking to my parents again and begin introducing them into my life again.
Here is the part where I am confused : During the four months living with my boyfriend, I’ve noticed that he is super 50/50 with his spending in the relationship and at times I would feel bad because he would ask me to zelle him for half the groceries when I would be cooking . He also makes 3X as much as me. I would also contribute to our groceries but I wouldn’t ask him to zelle me because I don’t like the feeling of it being transactional. This and other little things in the relationship start emerging and I decide to seek advice from my mother.
Worried my parents invited me back home because they believe my boyfriend should be contributing more financially in the relationship due to the fact that he makes way more and that I’m trying to go back to school. I speak to my boyfriend and tell him I might move back in because I won’t be able to work and study full time due to the financial aspect and I ask him if him and our other roommates will be fine with the rent and he says “ there’s no problem for me to cover the rent”. Hearing this, I felt a little sad and disappointed because a small part of me hoped he would have jumped in and offered to cover the rent until I finished school knowing my struggles with my parents and also because he told me that I was the one and he wanted to marry me and build a future together.
Now I’m scared of going back home because it wasn’t healthy for me emotionally or physically and getting a loan to cover everything is just going to put me in so much debt after graduating .
Were my parents right in their way of thinking of my situation with my partner ? Should my boyfriend help me out financially? Or was I just a roommate to him? This are all the questions in my mind and I need some advice from outside sources.