A few months ago I was set up with this guy who lives in the same city as my family. I live a short flight away, but I’ve gone out with him about 4 or 5 times over a few visits where I was in town. He’s fantastic – we get along so well, the sex is amazing, we seem really compatible. I truly love spending time with him and getting to know him. It’s been nearly 2 weeks since my last visit when I saw him, we’ve texted here and there, and I can’t stop thinking about him. It truly feels like torture. We haven’t talked about what we are yet, or the obstacle of a relationship when we live in different places, so I went on a first date the other night with a perfectly good guy in my area, but I couldn’t get the guy in another city out of my head the whole time. I’m not sure what to do. And I think he likes me too, but honestly I don’t where his heads at and don’t want to assume. How do I stop obsessing about him? I’m not supposed to be in town again for another month or two, and what if by then he’s met someone else? I haven’t felt this head over heels in a long time, and it’s a little terrifying.
tldr: met a great guy in another city, and not sure how to stop obsessing in the meantime?
5 comments
Throw it out there darlin’. Keep each other’s love language in mind when you make your move. Good luck 🦋 🦋 🤭
The main question here in my opinion is what do YOU want and where is your thinking at?
Yes, I know you said you really like him, but if distance is an issue for you and you think it will create problems down the road, then there is no point dragging things out.
If however you can see yourself being in an exclusive and ongoing relationship with him despite the distance, then you should go for it.
Once you have made that decision and if you want to give it a good shot, then have an open conversation with him. Communication is often understated and tends to lead to assumptions, which tend to usually be wrong.Just decide what YOU want first and then decide what you are open to in case actual relationship is not an option (e.g. casual, FWB, open relationship etc), then have an open conversation with him, find out where his mind is at and then come to a decision that you are both comfortable with.
Personally in my opinion, if you both like each other that much to want to be together, then distance shouldn’t really be a deal breaker especially if you are only a short flight away from each other, but nothing will ever happen one way or another unless you both communicate openly with each other, not just now, but even if it turns into a relationship and that fully open communication becomes even more important when there is distance involved.
Ask him how he feels about you and tell him how you feel.
You said you had sex with him. Is it the sex that’s holding you to him or something else. If it’s sex that’s nothing to build a relationship on. But you should know that by now you’re 30 years old. Just go with your heart babe
Long distance to start a relationship is such a thrill, it’s basically honeymoon phase edging. I think that’s a big factor to how you’re feeling.