For a couple of years there had been some tension between myself (F25) and a coworker (M30) and recently we finally hooked up. Things seemed great, we were going on a few dates, had great sex, and very engaging back and forth conversation over messages. It was fun, chilled and I wasn’t too concerned about how serious or not it would become.
This went on for about a month or two until it slowly faded on his end. When I asked him about seeing each other again he told me he was busy with things happening in his life at the moment but we could come back to things soon— and the conversation was left there.
But then about 3 weeks after telling me this, he started posting pictures with a new woman, and they’ve been going on trips together and seeming pretty serious.
Honestly it’s hit me like a truck. I wasn’t expecting to feel so heartbroken over someone I barely dated, but the pain runs deep. I wish I could be the person who could accept I’m too good for this guy that screwed me over and move on. Instead I’m so caught up on what ‘could have been’ and wishing I got to spend more time with him and being jealous of this new girl and the experiences she gets to have with him. I should know I have no chance now but part of me keeps downplaying his new relationship trying to give myself a glimmer of hope that I’ll get to pursue things with this guy again.
Has anyone else experienced early dating/ situationship heartbreak? How do you get over it , and accept the fact they’re with someone new? Any tips for handling interactions with this person at work? I have the slight urge to confront him for leaving me hanging then moving to the next person..?
4 comments
What you need to always remember is that you can’t make a person want to be with you. As long as you don’t make a mistake that turns someone away (and I have no indication that you did), it is outside of your control. For whatever reason, he liked this other woman more than you. The best way to get over it is to stop thinking about him, because you did your very best and it wasn’t enough for him to stay with you. You can take some solace when there is no wondering “what if”. And there really shouldn’t be any “what if” or “what could have been”. Because it was him that slowly faded, not you. It was just not meant to be.
I personally have been rejected the overwhelming majority of the time throughout my 44 years so far. But I did have a handful of dates, and some of them ended in this kind of heartbreak. I accept that they’re with someone new by telling myself that they’re the best match for each other, not them with me. It’s a very bitter pill to swallow. I think you can be cordial at work, I know there will be some awkwardness, but if you’re professionals, just say hi when necessary and leave it at that. I’m sorry you’re experiencing this heartbreak.
so you had a shot with a guy you got along with great and you were so passive about anything remotely serious that he went off and found someone who was more serious. learn from this.
I completely understand. It would feel so uncomfortable to see him at office. Well, I guess there are three options. You guys openly talk about it, move on and become friends. If you cannot, well then you just take it as if nothing had happened, move on and that’s it. Or if you can move to a better job, that’s the best! You move out of there and ciao!! Hope you find peace again anyway. Things happen, that’s life and in the end this is actually nothing in your life.
Yeah he used for sex