Hi all,
3 weeks ago I accidentally discovered my boyfriends fetlife page. It was pretty eye opening. Not in like a bad way, but more in a “i didn’t really know you were into that” kind of way.
honestly, some of the stuff he seems into i’m not really opposed to trying with him, but I don’t really know how to approach him, and i don’t want to embarrass him, either.
i haven’t told him i know, and he hasn’t given any hints that i found out. how would you approach him? what’s the best way to say, “hey, i’m down for trying that” without embarrassing him?
9 comments
So he will ask,,, how did you find it? Do you have one?
What is fetlife?
You don’t have to address the fact that you found his page in order to talk about kinks and exploration. Apps like spicer or sites like mojoupgrade.com can help start the convo.
Any feelings of embarrassment are going to not matter a whole lot when he finds out that you not only know, but you want to play lol.
Clearly he’s assuming you’d not be in to it, since he’s not mentioned those kinks. So, talk about pleasant surprise!
The alternative is you never mention it and continue your sex life as it is now. That’s absolutely an option. So the question is, do you want to explore these things with him?
I would just ask. If he has one, more the. Kiely he would love to do that stuff with you. You just gotta ask
id personally just rip off the bandaid and ask about it
this way, he can be completely out in the open, you dont have to tip toe around certain topics, etc
What is fetlife?
Express your discovery and that while you didn’t mean to violate his privacy……..you’re glad you did. List off the things you’d like to try with him. These things are always a bit nerve racking, yet that anxiety can be turned into sexual energy thanks to your willingness for some of them.
Print out his main profile page and then one of the pictures of him doing something you’d be in to, then confront him with the profile page and say “Do you want to explain this?”. If your satisfied with his explanation, hold up the picture of the thing you like and say “do you want to do this for me?” If his explanation isn’t enough then just say “I need to think about this.”