What about yourself are you ashamed of?

20 comments

1. That I let myself go after high school after a terrible break up. I gained like 20-30 pounds but from what I’ve heard i went from a 9 to a solid 4 after the weight gain and I’m just so like “meh” about it now

2. 30 pounds overweight

3. Having emotions. I wish I had none. Feeling a lot of pain and sadness right now and no one gives a shit. Wish I could just be a robot.

4. There are some days I don’t really feel to work out and can’t bring myself to do the few extra reps that really exhaust, but bring the most..

5. Letting my anxiety rule my life these days. I keep comparing myself to the confident, social person I used to be and feel pretty pathetic.

6. Myself

7. My lack of discipline & the fantasies I have (which is a different topic for another day)

8. My addiction to sugar

9. A few things, but I’m actively trying to change them

10. That I don’t want to live with non white people.

    I know how it sounds. I do feel ashamed sometimes, like when I meet people from other races. And maybe just having a small amount of non white immigrants would be fine. But I can’t help how I feel. I can’t change, I don’t want to live with people like muslims for eg.

    I don’t discriminate, I’m not racist towards anyone.

    I’d just rather live with my own people. White people.

    Isn’t that fair enough though? To simply want to live with people like you, that are from similar cultures.

    I don’t care about white supremacy or anything like that. I just want my home back.

    Plus I don’t feel safe in the uk anymore because of the amount of muslims that live here.

    I just want it the way it used to be. I feel ashamed occasionally, but I can’t change

11. Basically nothing cus nothing bothers me but if I was ashamed of something I would say the people around me

12. I am ashamed of my stupidity

13. So much. That list is long

14. Ashamed that I’m about to file for divorce for the second time.

    I filed for divorce once, and we reconciled, but the marriage has gone downhill again.

    Marriage is a two-way street. It’s very hurtful when your spouse becomes self-destructive, and doesn’t want to contribute.

15. That I tend to be ruled by my personal fears of failure and insecurity. That has stopped me from really excelling at things that I like – I always gravitate to safety, even if I’m mediocre at the skills required to do well at such positions.

16. My hideous face

17. The fact I pursued a useless degree and incurred a lot of debt for little/no return.

18. I’ve had a long life of accumulated bullshit. I’m not ashamed of the terrible personal decisions I’ve made. I *am* ashamed of some of the things I’ve done to people, usually out of carelessness, hubris, or selfishness. I’m not confessing them here, even anonymously. But they’re like fucking gargoyles sitting on my soul.

    Sometimes I dream about having all my sins exposed, and being publicly shamed, reviled, rejected, and humiliated. A kind of purgatory. Then I could confess to my minister, apologize to everyone, and fucking end it with 300mg of fentanyl and a quick topple off a deepwater pier.

19. My insecurities and anxiety. I think it’s held me back for a long time and affected my relationship too.

20. Who I tend to be attracted to.