He is currently jobless and looking. He has an interview (or 2) lined up for next week and I don’t want to throw him off mentally. But I also don’t want to wait much longer because I hate every second around him.
If I wait until he gets a job offer he’s gonna think I waited for him to get a job so I can get alimony. Idk what to do. Then I think he’s gonna be ok. It’s not like a huge surprise. This topic has come up so many times and I’ve been so close to leaving many many times before. We’re not doing good and we both know it. We tell each other (and everyone else) we don’t want kids because we want to focus on other things. In reality, I cannot picture myself ever having a child with him, much less even having sex…
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Do you have an exit plan? That is, are you waiting for something so you can move out of the house? If there’s nothing you are waiting for, then you should probably just do it.
Because the topic has “come up so many times,” I don’t know that he’d take it seriously if you simply mentioned it as something you’ll do next week. Just leave, and give him a letter.
Tell him now. If you’re splitting up and moving away, would he want to stay in the area? Would he look for the same types of jobs? You guys have very few ties right now – you rent, he’s unemployed and you don’t have family in the area. This is a good opportunity to reimagine everything at once, rather than divorcing but being stuck in a life similar to the one you’d have had if you stayed married.