I’ve read a lot of comments from men about how women have left them because they cried. Do you lose respect for men when they cry? Do you know anyone who has?

36 comments

  1. I don’t lose respect for men who cry or are vulnerable with me. They deserve care and respect for the person they are, not for showing weakness to someone they trust. Ofc, if they kept whining about every single thing I would quickly get annoyed. But an honest true talk? I can’t fathom someone would leave a dude who is opening up about their emotions.

  2. I really struggle with empathizing with my partner. And anyone really . It’s a trait that I know is caused by something from my childhood bla bla, and I know I need to work on it. That said, it’s not that I lose respect for them, rather I tend to focus more on how they can easily remedy the situation so that the process of having to sit through the awkward situation is resolved quickly.

  3. Absolutely not. If anything I respect men who can show their emotions! I’ve had a neighbor cry when our former neighbor passed away. I’ve had a date cry when we were at the beginning of our relationship (sadly it didn’t last long). I’ve had a good male friend cry a lot from the circumstances in his life. Crying is good. Better than bottling it all up and dealing it with worse behavior like drinking

  4. Not at all, if anything I respect them more because that’s real human emotion and they’re processing it, not repressing it, which is healthy.

  5. I think it is because most women don’t know how to handle the situation. I had to learn and I thank my brother for showing me how vulnerable a man can be not just in major life events like a loss but in a romantic relationship. This is not common at all.

    Just to answer the question, no I have never ever lost respect for vulnerable men.

  6. The opposite. A man who is able to express his emotions is healthier than so many who refuse. I value vulnerability in people, and I could not have an SO who wasn’t vulnerable with me

  7. Absolutely the opposite! I never saw my father show emotions (other than anger) when I was a kid, but after years of therapy he’s started to open up a little, and I’ve never respected him more. Nobody likes when someone is constantly crying and whining, regardless of gender, but allowing oneself to be vulnerable is a sign of emotional maturity in my opinion.

  8. Lol what. Yeah, I also lose respect to men who eat in front of me. How dare they succumb to lowly human needs.

  9. Idk a single woman who is not a complete asshole who would ever do it.

    There is nothing wrong with showing emotion regardless of who you are and anyone who thinks there is is not someone worth worrying about bc there’s not point in worrying about stupidity

  10. I waaaay prefer men who allow themselves to feel and express sadness, grief, fear, vulnerability, etc. than men who smother every emotion in anger. When my husband cries in front of me I feel only love and protectiveness.

  11. absolutely not. my bf rarely cries like only 3 times in almost 10 yrs. so when he was venerable and cried it made me feel so close. it was a big step for him and i made sure to give him plenty of support and attention

  12. No. I see those comments as well and think some people blame that moment of vulnerability for a relationship gone sour instead of looking at the full picture. My circle and I appreciate vulnerability. It actually helps to bond and respect them more. My supervisor at work invited us to his father’s funeral and shed many tears with us (about his father and other moments) and it has only solidified him as one of my role models.

  13. Not at all. I definitely prefer it.

    I don’t think I ever saw my ex spouse cry. Not when his cat died. Not during any fight. Not when I asked him for a divorce. He held it all in and it caused him big emotional problems. He had outbursts that made me feel afraid.

    The guy I rebounded with cried openly when I described a book about hot air balloons that I had as a kid. I have no idea why. But it made me feel very warmly towards him.

  14. Idiotic.

    Do I want a man who is emotionally stable – yes. That doesn’t mean repressing emotion or being emotionless.

    Expressing emotion, processing it, and finding a healthy outlet is the definition of emotionally stable.

    You cry and sob because the store is out of garlic hummus? I might be concerned…

    You are stressed at work, feel disrespected, and backed into a corner… and you cry while venting – totally normal. Punching a wall or getting violent – not normal.

    Tears are just fine.

  15. Not at all. I think it makes him more respectable because he can articulate his emotions in a healthy way. And cry and express that vulnerability I want to help them.

    When they lash out with rage and tantrums I can’t respect that. That’s not emotional vulnerability.

  17. It’s a normal human function. People’s attitudes seem divided between it being “less manly” or “more manly” but it’s just neutral. I would feel the strain of responsibility, though, and worry about responding appropriately.

  18. Absolutely Not!
    I totally respect a guy who is real with their emotions. Everyone should be free to express their feelings and not be restricted to societal standards. Men are human too.

  19. When a man trusts me enough to be that vulnerable around me, I feel privileged, loving, and protective.

  20. Of course not, my best recent memory is when I went out with a bunch of my friends, half of them were men, and we all kinda let our guards down and talked about our vulnerabilities and emotions. I wouldn’t have become as close as I am with them if they had decided to act like emotionless rocks.

  21. No. I felt more compassion, respect and love for my ex when he cried.

    My first longterm boyfriend had such difficulties expressing his feelings, it was difficult to communicate through tough situations or navigate through fights. He would just shut off and I’d feel disconnected and rejected. I don’t think he meant it like that, but he was just unable to let me in.

    So it’s important to me a man can be open with his feelings and be vulnerable. It allows me to be a better partner to him, but I also feel it makes them a better and more empathetic partner to me.

  22. I definitely respect them more for being willing to cry in front of me. Or admitting they cry. I don’t want an emotionally immature and stunted man in my life. I want a man who can feel emotions on both ends of the spectrum.

  23. No? My bf’s have all at one time or another cried. It’s a human response, we’re all human beings and we all need to feel our emotions. If you didn’t cry I’d be concerned

  24. No way!! I gain respect. Men deserve to feel safe expressing their emotions without fear of judgment. It is so unfortunate that the suicide rate for men is so high because of cultural expectations. I think it is so important for men to cry and be vulnerable.

  25. No i respect them because i know it takes a lot of strength to show that much vulnerability

  26. No, and I’ve never met a single woman who has. I have, on the other hand, met countless women who praise a man for having the bravery to cry.

  27. Why would I loose respect for someone who is being human?

    But I definitely loose respect for people who don’t display any emotions citing the reason THEY ARE A MAN. Go away shooooooo

  29. Ok, there’s a difference between crying and being vulnerable when you’re having a bad day or something happened in your life that you’re working through and need support (completely normal and respectable way of being human), and expecting your girlfriend to be your therapist and solve all your issues.

    I’ve left a relationship where the second thing happened, but not because I lost respect for the guy for his vulnerability, but because his problems started overwhelming me – he would rant for hours about how miserable he felt and how he didn’t want to live anymore, but refused to get professional help whenever I told him that I’m there for him, but cannot help him feel better and worrying about him being in this state and not getting help actually gave me issues too. So that is definitely not ok, if you have ongoing problems that require professional help, you cannot dump them on a woman in your life and expect her to do the work of a therapist without any training (and also being extremely biased, there is a reason therapists shouldn’t treat people they know). This goes for women who do that too, since it’s not just men, but I find that men are still more therapy-averse and also tend to have fewer male friends they can rely on for emotiona support, so all the roles of the therapist who won’t judge you and will approach your issue professionally, the bro who will listen to anything and get outraged on your behalf to help you vent through the emotions, and the mother figure who will hug you and tell you everything will be alright fall on the girlfriend. So while it’s very normal to need all those types of support, you should really not be trying to get it all from one person.

    But if a man is generally stable or in therapy for his problems and is having a bad day and just wants human connection, and be sad with someone, I’m always here for him and would never judge that as anything other than the positive ability to live his emotions and share them in a healthy manner.

  30. Not at all! It shows that they’re not afraid to show emotions and be vulnerable. It gives me the feeling that they feel safe with me and trust me enough to be vulnerable like that, to let their guard down.
    Emotions shouldn’t be repressed. They’re men, human.

    It only makes me appreciate and respect the person more. And makes me want to take care of them, which I do with all the love.

  31. I respect men who are honest with themselves and their emotions far more than men who pretend they don’t have feelings, which not only hurts themselves but other men.

  32. I love my partner the most when he is emotionally vulnerable and cries in front of me. I know that is SO HARD for him to do and the fact that he trusts me enough let that guard down. Truly so beautiful and I just love him more

  33. No definitely not! I think it’s more weird to never see a man cry. I was with my ex for more than a decade and never saw him cry, I found it unsettling.

    Then we separated and he couldn’t stop crying. Making up for lost time, apparently.

  35. Absolutely not, I appreciate the vulnerability and I think it would make us potentially grow closer

  36. I lose respect for them if they DON’T show emotional maturity and emotional intelligence. A man who can’t cry or be vulnerable with his mate is someone I can’t trust. The women who leave these men are the toxic ones and the men are better off without them. Why bother having a relationship at all if you can’t share that level of intimacy?

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