I’m very open to trying lots of new things and I have and I will continue to do so. It’s fun! But I don’t have any specific kinks or fetishes and I didn’t really think anything of it until my ex described me as vanilla and boring (while we were together).
It hurt bc we’ve done some pretty fun & crazy stuff. I don’t like things being too repetitive. I just can’t think of one specific thing that I like or obsess over more than others. Sex just turns me on in general. He turned me on in general without needing any kinks.
Goodness maybe that is what vanilla is lol.
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There’s a middle ground between kinks and being vanilla, imo. He just sounds like an ass.
Vanilla is never meant to be an insult or derogatory. Its perfectly fine to be vanilla. He was just a dick.
There is actually a specific middle ground between vanilla and fetishes though. Its called being an Experimentalist (being able and wanting to try everything at least once).
What’s wrong with vanilla
Maybe boring also sounds safe but reliable. I mean it’s something to grow with each other and learn about…. Shit it’s better than nothing too… but I guess communicate and see if vanilla is just right of maybe spice it up by figuring it out
It’s something u need to figure out together and totally trust in that u can’t communicate the most intimate details…. If u can pass that u can fix it but if someone is reluctant to give any details it’s hard to overcome.. sex is about complete trust… I hope u two can find that
Vanilla is a great flavor, and liking it is nothing g to be ashamed of.
If you’re as experimental as you’ve mentioned in the comments, I don’t think that’s vanilla.
> Why do people think I’m Vanilla just because I don’t have any kinks or fetishes?
“Why do people think I’m a philatelist just because I collect stamps?”
Because that is what the word means.
It’s perfectly fine to be Vanilla I don’t think it is a put down at all. It is what you like and there’s nothing wrong with it. From the way it sounds it sounds like you were willing to try things so that to.me sounds like you are experimental and open. Don’t take it as a bad thing
“Vanilla” *means* “doesn’t have kinks or fetishes.”
It’s not a derogatory or dismissive description (although some people use it that way, which is rude and closed-minded). Vanilla is a delicious and popular flavor! There’s nothing wrong with it. But it ain’t kinky, and that’s absolutely fine.