Title. I’m a man in my mid 20s and throughout my life, I’ve improved my confidence, my personality, my physique and my grades in an effort to try to get into a relationship. I’ve never had one before because I was bullied a lot as a kid, I didn’t go out much because I had to protect my mother from her abusive partner and I had to battle cancer when I was a teenager. Fortunately my mother is safe now and my cancer is gone.
Admittedly, I didn’t really put myself out there all that much until this past year and nothing has happened despite being extremely confident, physically fit (I have the build of a soccer player) and being in one of the top law schools in my country. I was even nominated for a full ride scholarship to Oxford. Personality wise my friends describe me as funny, wholesome, smart, pure (as in sex is not the primary reason I’m looking for a relationship) and kind.
I’ve tried using dating apps but to no avail and just deleted them. I got matches especially on Hinge but they didn’t go anywhere.
But now I feel like everything I’m doing is for someone else that I’m trying to impress and not myself. It’s hurt my confidence, led to me feeling inadequate which has led to me having a defeatist attitude towards school. In other words, I think to myself that women don’t seem to care about my accomplishments so why should I even try to better myself?
It hurts more when people are shocked when they find out I’ve never been in a relationship. It’s like I feel like something is wrong with me.
Does anyone have advice?
2 comments
It sounds like you’re trying to fill a job role. Don’t want it to happen so damn much. If you’re doing it right, companionship *will* eventually find you. Just stay try to stay confident.
Self improvement is for ourselves! If you do it for others it’s the wrong path.
Why you need a relationship instead of making friends and go out and have fun?