How long is too long to wait for an engagement ring?

15 comments

1. My fiancé (26NB) and I (28F) have been together long distance since roughly 2018, moved in together May 2021. They popped the question after about a year or talking about it in February of this year. We picked out the ring together, ordered it, and I think I waited four to six months before they actually proposed to me for real.

   We’re both at wild crossroads in our lives and the concept of our wedding is grounding us immensely.

2. It’ll depend on each person’s wants and goals. I was happy to wait 12 years for my husband to propose since marriage wasn’t exactly something that was high on my priority list and didn’t feel I needed it just to prove we were committed to each other. But I know plenty of people that criticized us for waiting so long and wondered why we weren’t “sealing the deal”.

3. We were together 7 years I think. I wasn’t waiting for a ring though.

4. Did you mean waiting for your spouse to propose? I think it really depends on the dynamic of your relationship. Some relationships are ready to go to the next level (engagement) after 2 years some are ready after 5 years, etc. in my case tho, my husband and I had the talk of marriage so we discussed whether we wanted to get married, when is the engagement ceremony (in my country we have this), when is the wedding, etc. he didn’t propose to me with a ring. He does buy me jewelries tho

5. The internet says 2 weeks after you order it from the jeweler or 4-5 weeks for something completely custom.

6. First, I don’t think of my relationship prior to getting as engaged as just ‘waiting for an engagement ring’. But I think if you’ve had a conversation where you discussed future milestones and told your partner it was important for you to get married before a certain age. Then I he hasn’t proposed by then and doesn’t have a reason you’re on board with… Then I’d say it’s time to move on. There’s no possible way to put a time stamp on it IMO. Because if you get together aged 18, waiting 10 years to get engaged seems normal to me. But if you get together at 30 and have discussed wanting to get married and having kids before a certain age then maybe waiting even 3 years would be too long.

   FWIW my husband and I got engaged after about 4 years. But there was no proposal we just discussed wanting to get married, decided we wanted to do it the following year and then told our families and started planning.

7. Sounds like it’s too long for you if you’re asking this. We got engaged after about 6.5 years and then another year before we got married. Probably too long for some, but just right for us.

8. If you’re tired of waiting, do the proposing yourself.

9. I don’t want one at all, and wouldn’t even if we were interested in marriage, which we’re not. It’s all individual and personal to the people and relationship in question. Different things are right for different people.

   I do think it’s important to have those mutual where-are-we-going, what-are-our-plans conversations, though, rather than the very socially-traditional ‘woman waits with hope/excitement but no communicaiton at all for the man to Be Ready and ask The Question’.

10. Sounds like a self-imposed time limit.

11. I disagree with the premise of this question. This should be a mutually agreed upon event after serious discussion. Not just waiting around for your partner to spring it on you.

12. If I wanted to get engaged, I would start the conversation. It should be a thing both of you want. If both parties don’t want it, that doesn’t speak well for the future of the relationship.

13. This is probably why I’m not married but I feel a man should know (and vice versa) after a year or two. I would get really depressed around year 3 though and would probably break up over it.

14. My wife waited 8years, two children later. We did it all backwards 😁
    We were broke initially and I wanted to do it properly which I finally did.

15. Not my expirience, but, my cousin just got engaged to her boyfriend/partner this week. Before that they have been together for 10 years and it’s not like they were kids when it started and will probably get married the comming summer.

    They could never be bothered if people on the side started to nagg to hurry up å bit. They are happy together and love each other and never felt the rush of the whole deal. Just 2 people in love and now about to tie the knot.

    In the end it’s about loving each other, seeing what works for you and talking about it to see if you are on the same page in life when it comes to building a life, home or/and family together and no about waiting for the other person to pop the question and pull out a ring.
    ( not meant to be offensive)

    I’m not of course denying the existance of the biological clock, the way that laws in some countries handle legal procedures when it comes to the status of couples or other factors just pointing one more view from which this should be looked at)