Girlfriend (30f) broke up with me (31m) after her father died
About a month ago my girlfriends father passed away. We both live in Florida, both not originally from there. I was there for her physically as soon as it happened and was willing to follow her to Chicago where she is from and be there every step of the way. Immediately she said she wanted space and she explained thoroughly. I thought it was a bad idea but she insisted we spend time apart, her in Chicago and me back in New Jersey where I am from.
About 2 weeks in, last Wednesday she reached out to me to tell me I’ve been a shitty boyfriend for getting her space and she broke up with me. Literally earlier that morning she was talking to me about marriage. Everything was going good recently and she exclaimed how supportive I was through everything. And then bam. Everything changed in the blink of an eye.
I’m so devastated and felt like I should’ve overridden her wishes for space looking back but at the same time, I felt that was disrespectful. She’s now blocked me on all communication.
I have a ticket to fly out to Chicago later this week but she seems determined to not reconcile. I’m so lost and hurt right now – hurt at a time when she is grieving a loss even worse.
TLDR
Girlfriend just lost her father tragically. Said she needed space and then broke up with me because I gave her space.
5 comments
Yeah…grief will do that to a person.
Went through something similar, my ex’s mother was dying in the hospital but she was trying to break up me because she said she would be a wreck instead i put down my and told her no that i would support her through it the whole entire time. Her mother had open heart surgery and for 2 weeks had ups and down till she finally passed. I supported her no matter what and lost sleep and she always kept me updated cause she knew i cared. After her mother died the next week i go dumped a day after we went out and started talking to other guys immediately. Honestly i dont know whats going in your situation but its hard to know what the other person is thinking. It sucks
Leave her be for now. No flying in to see her. Just give her time to think clearly.
If you care about her make the trip cause the way it seems is that she wants the opposite of what she says, or if you feel less of her just end it now and forget her because if this is how she acts about this it will be a loss loss you will never make her happy.
She gave you mixed messages. Does she do this or has she done this to you in the past?
There is the possibility that she is angry and distressed at her father’s death and she is taking that out on you as she believes you are someone safe to do so.
You didn’t do anything wrong. You can’t read her mind. If she wants to contact you, she will.