This goes out to a lot of men out there who stay in toxic relationships. If your girlfriend tells you she isn’t an affectionate person, such as wanting to hold your hand a lot, cuddle with you, or tell you how much she loves you, or rarely shows it at all, she does not truly love you.
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I have met many women who say that all the time with boyfriends they dated. They tell them they’re not very affectionate, and their boyfriend is very needy. Years later, they meet someone new and they instantly click. All of a sudden her views on not being an “affectionate person” is all wiped out clean. All of a sudden she is overly affectionate and desires that man.
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I have also dated women who weren’t affectionate with their previous boyfriends, yet one girl met me, and she said “I have never felt this way about a man before. I usually am not like this or affectionate at all, but I just can’t help myself when I am with you.” And she goes out of her way to see me, or does many things for me, even when you don’t want it. But the girl is still crazy over you.
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She just does not feel that way about YOU. And that is fine. Maybe you guys really don’t click, and you don’t give her that feeling in her heart. It’s probably best to not continue the relationship. She eventually will dump you regardless, or she will settle for you, but in her eyes you will never be her number 1 man. You will never be valued at all by her. She will never put you on a pedastal or even her equal, but beneath her. You will be treated to countless arguments, even when you just want the best for your relationship.
Please keep this in mind for future dating and relationships.
4 comments
As a woman, I kind of agree with this.
I was known as a cactus in my 20 year marriage. I did not feel seen, protected, safe, loved, wanted for who I was.
My current relationship is about 5 months old and I am literally the most touchy feely, affectionate person ever.
And when I look back to who I was as 16? She’s who I am now.
No your not the one
With the right person I express how I feel through actions and written text and in the privacy of our home I am physically affectionate. I don’t like excessive PDA in public.
This comes with caveats. Some people just don’t like touching at all.
Also, someone not being affectionate or not being « the one » doesn’t mean they won’t value you, see you as « less than » or be toxic. It just means the relationship will not work out over time, and either parties will leave eventually. It’s important to keep that in mind or you’ll come off as bitter yourself.
Otherwise, some of these relationships can be nice and temporary, and give you company at times. They’re not all bad or worthless relationships, just not part of the ones that will matter over time. Not everything works out every single time, and that’s ok.