I hardly can walk up to someone I know and tell them something that sparks a conversation because I do not know what to talk about each time. I just walk up to the person and just think, what the hell can I say to this person that’ll end up in a conversation and 90% i give up because I don’t know of anything, i hate this shit so much please help, how to turn that 90% into 20% or even 0%?
2 comments
* this most likely is rather a mental block than actually not knowing what to say.
* use standard phrases to break the ice, like “how are you?”, “how is your day?”, “what are you doing today?” One standard topic is also to talk about the context of the situation you are in and the things that are right in front of you.
* speak your mind more and filter less. Trust that the things, that naturally come to your mind, are good enough to say them. Accept your own ideas and thoughts more. Always remind yourself, that you are a valuable human being and as a result, all things you say are relevant by default.
* small talk is much more about the attitute, you bring into the conversation, than about the actual content. If you approach others with oppeness, interest and appreciation, they will feel and enjoy it.
* in many cases sharing secrets and saying things, that are rather controversal lead to deeper conversations. Experiment with opening up more and sharing more.
I wish I knew the answer to this question. I struggle with this myself.
I tried starting a conversation with a coworker at my new job and they were totally not interested in what I had to say. Or if I start talking about something another coworker did not have the interest in listening to the full conversation, like I was not able to get to the point fast enough. Sometimes I wait for people to talk to me. I know people are more interested in talking about themselves so I try to play off that, even if it is painful for me to listen to them. Mostly because I do not like small talk, it hurts my head too much.
A few topics I learned people really like are pets, travelling, TV shows, funny memes, or complaining about work. Pets people will show you pictures of them, you can ask what names their pets are, they might show you pictures. You can react and go ‘aww’ over them. Then play off that topic. Like I had a coworker with three husky dogs once and she was super enthused about them, and she walked them several times a day. I would say things like ‘that oughta keep you busy’ or something like that. Same if people have kids you can ask some questions about their kids or whatever. Just be careful not to ask too many personal questions about them or you may come off as suspicious or creepy.
If anyone ever comes back from a trip, ask them about it. Or if they mention they went to a different country or something ask them what it was like. I don’t like TV much but people like to go on about their shows sometimes. People love complaining so you can listen to people vent about their jobs and so on.
As far as initiating the conversation, good luck!