So I (M 18) just started college this semester and I’ve met a girl (F 19) that I like. She’s the first person I have been attracted to since I broke up with my ex (4 months ago). We are getting along and spending a lot of time together. She’s currently in her hometown because of Thanksgiving and we have called a couple of times since she’s been there and she brought up me coming and spending a couple days there with her (it’s a 4 hour drive) and I want to let her know that I like her so she doesn’t find out some guy is sleeping on her floor that likes her afterwards. I don’t know if she views me as a friend or something more but I’m scared to let her know how I feel about her in case it ends up with her feeling weird about being around me and we get distant. Should I tell her as soon as possible over the phone or wait until she comes back so we can be in person when it happens?
I know this isn’t very organized but I’ve been thinking over what I should do for the past few days and it’s causing me a a lot of anxiety.
TL;DR – I like this girl and she invited me over to her house to spend a few days with her and I don’t know how to tell her I like her.
Edit: I forgot to mention that when she said I should visit that it would be during our winter break, not this Thanksgiving break
6 comments
You can tell her right away, there’s literally no reason to wait for her to come back in-person other than being nervous and putting it off. Either by phone call or text can work. If you don’t want to beat around the bush then be upfront and concise about it.
“Hey, I want to talk to you about something important. I think you’re really cute and I was wondering if you had wanted to go out on a date at [specific place] on [specific day]?”
Or something like that.
If you’re upfront, so will she.
>I don’t know how to tell her I like her.
“just so you know, I like you as more than just a friend”
>so she doesn’t find out some guy is sleeping on her floor that likes her afterwards.
Did she bring up sleeping on her floor?
My opinion, and Im not from your generation, but I would find it highly unlikely you two would be talking over Thanksgiving break and she would ask you to come for a couple days, if she wasn’t in to you. So, in my opinion, you have a good shot at a agreement to a relationship but yes you should tell her if you’re going to make the drive. If not, wait until she comes back and proceed as normal. You don’t want a 4 hour drive to end with weirdness and you thinking “Do I stay? I don’t wanna stay now.”
I think you should tell her before the 4 hour drive. I think it’s better to have these conversations in person bc it seems more genuine and you can see her body language based on her response.
Also, things can be misinterpreted over text so it’s better to eliminate anything
More than likely, she’s inviting you to visit because she’s into you, too. And the invite to sleep in her room… she’s probably going to tell you that you don’t have to sleep on the futon unless you prefer it or at least she’s hoping you’ll suggest sleeping together. You’re rarely going to get a greener signal from a woman. It’s fine to say to her: I’d love to drive over to spend time with you, but I think I should tell you that I’m starting to develop more than friendly feelings for you.
A good way to break this ice is to tell her, “honestly, I think I would be more comfortable taking up a hotel because it’s possible my feelings are developing into something more than friends. If this is the case and you aren’t comfortable with these feelings, staying in your room would become an awkward thing for both of us.”
The ball would now be in her court and she will either respond in kind or save you a long drive.