Me (18f), is having normal teenage life but always without the sexual parts. Everytime I’ve been making a move with a boy I’ve always stopped before we get to the point of having sex. But I’m not feeling like myself lately, more than a mating horny animal than a girl who’s graduating and have to study as more as she can. This Friday I’m going to my crush’s house (18m) and I specifically hinted that we are going to countie something we stopped… never used toys and have a ton of experience with flirting and kissing, so I’m only scared for the painful part…
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Patience, foreplay, and communication… I’ve ‘popped a few cherries’ and there’s never been any pain.
It’s a pretty fun trick, isn’t it, to hint at something so that you know that he’s a bit committed to the idea of the upcoming weekend…
It sounds like quite an adventure is incoming.
Make sure to bring condoms (never just bring one!) and the mindset that you are going to have a lot of fun.
The best way to make sure that you are having fun is to sure that the goal is to have fun.
You I said that your plan was to have him I you. Screw that plan. Plan to *have fun*.
If the fun includes having him in you, jay you.
If the fun includes something else, at least it was damn fun, you know. And still jay you. Plenty jay you.
Anyway. Try to understand WHY it becomes painful for you. Why penetration can hurt;
When you are aroused, you grow too. Just like he does, only you grows inwards where it can only be felt. A huge part of this is to learn to feel when you are ready. Learn to tell.
If you make the mistake that you assume that you are ready just because you are a bit wet (or, you know, if HE mistakingly assumes…) it’s likely going to be uncomfortable.
And there you have another problem; pain is not helping much with arousal. It’s actually the other way around. Pain will make it difficult to stay aroused.
And to add to that, anxiety is also not a good thing for arousal.
Imagine a chain of events where you are anxious that it’s going to be awful, and as a result you are going to have trouble being aroused. And as a result of that, it gets painful. Which of course makes the anxiety go through the roof for the next attempt.
If you think about it, you really need to learn to snap out or that vicious cycle.
There is KIND OF a trick to it, one that I can recommend. A lot of women describe the sensation of fully grown as…a sensation of emptiness. As if their body is screaming for having something in there. I’m a guy myself and can only relay what others have told be, but the sensation is supposedly pretty…convincing.
If you know what I’m talking about, use that to your advantage. Seize the moment when your body is asking for it.
If it’s not great anyway, but you still want to do it, take charge of all the movement yourself. It’s easier to handle a sensation that ain’t constantly startling you.
Slow is usually preferred if it feels tense or even uncomfortable. The fast stuff can happen later once you both get the hang of it.
Again, your priority is to have fun. Make sure it IS fun.vita only if it is fun that you have a reason to want to do it again.