My partner (M) and I (F) met 15 years ago while playing World of Warcraft. We’ve played many, many games together, the last being Elden Ring co-op. But his mental health issues caused enough pain for both of us that right now being together is a bad idea. Separation is on the table.
This post is not asking for advice on fixing him or our relationship, but rather on how I can make the transition to solo gaming again. This is a big deal for me. It was my hobby before we met, but after all this time, I associate the booting of my pc with being together. Whichever game I load (those we never played together, of course), I don’t get far before I tear up and have to shut things down again, depressed.
The thrill I had in solo gaming once upon a time is nowhere to be found in the pain of loss now. I know it’s there somewhere, but I’m doing a very poor job of rediscovering my independence. Please, how can I go back to enjoying gaming alone?
Advice? Reassurance? Thank you.
—
**tl;dr**: My partner and I played together online for 15+ years. How can I best transition from co-op play to solo gaming when everything reminds me of him and the team we were?
2 comments
Stop trying to force it.
If you can’t even get through a gaming session without bursting into tears, there isn’t going to be some hidden tip to make this hobby palatable to you.
Give yourself some time away from gaming for a while, especially while you’re still actually navigating the end of your relationship. Find a new hobby. And yeah, that sucks, but that’s just how human brains work. We are very good at finding patterns and making connections to things. But that’s a double edged sword and sometimes we can ruin things we used to love.
That’s my good advice.
My second-tier discount advice is there is a remote possibility that you might find it easier to play different kinds of games on a different kind of system in a different context. For example, you mention not being able to boot up your PC. Well… don’t. Buy a Switch and play handheld games (assuming you and your soon-to-be-ex don’t have fond Breath of the Wild memories or something.) Don’t play games at home. Change the venue. Gaming in the park or whatever.
Maybe you need to find another hobby until you’re emotionally stable enough to return to gaming.