Pretty straightforward story here, I was trying to sneak in a quick O for my wife before heading back to work after lunch.
She locked the bedroom door but didn’t close it all the way, and our 5 year old walked in on me going down on her. She laughed and pointed out that “Mom needs to put on her underwear.” I sent her to do something really important and she left without any further comment or question.
That was about an hour ago, I’m trying to figure out how to handle it. Do we talk to her about it at all? Mention that it was just mom and dad alone time, and that’s why the door was closed? Tell her mom was changing and I started wrestling with her?
I’m leaning towards option 2 here, but would like some feedback from people who have actually dealt with this type of thing.
11 comments
I would just not bring it up……. Like if she brings it up then yeah explain but otherwise I would uhm…. Hope she forgets….. if she asked tho I’d be like “I fell. I tripped and fell on mommy oh no” lmao
She’s probably too young for it to have registered what was going on. Unless you kept going at it while she stared at you confused, I’m sure you have nothing to worry about.
If she asks, then a white lie is in order considering her age. I’m all for sex education, but in an age-appropriate way. At five, she has no need to know anything about what you were doing. Careful how you phrase it, though. If you say you were “playing,” it could lock in her memory as an appropriate way to play… Is sure is a great way to play, but not for a number of years yet!
Personally I find very simplistic and truthful answers or the absolute best in the situations
Mostly yes or no answer if you don’t make a big deal of it there’s a 99.9% chance they simply just forget as it’s not remotely relevant to their reality
What she cares about is that you are happy. If you are both happy… Her world is secure
If she asks a question… Answer the question… Do not turn it into a teaching lesson
That is something that happens millions of times every year on our fair planet. It causes no harm to a 5 year old. I wouldn’t bring it up and if she does just say that you were kissing each other.
Young enough to not be remembered
So I also have a 5 year old and an older kid. Haven’t been walked in on quite like that (yet, knock on wood…). I think you have some options here but if you take a 1000 foot step back, I think the most important thing to be mindful of is reinforcing what’s OK and not OK for her.
Hard to say if your daughter will bring it up. My 5 year old sometimes has an uncanny memory for things that I never thought she’d recall. So if yours says something than use it as an opportunity to teach her that nobody is allowed to touch her. However you decide to spin it isn’t that important other than ensuring that she understands that part. Good luck!
After reading all the comments I busted out laughing because in my head I can see a post 15 years from now saying, yeah the most uncomfortable time in my life was when I saw my dad eating out my mom”. 😂
Personally, I’m not a big fan of lying. I think the people in our loves that we care about deserve truth from us and that trust is fostered through truth.
That having been said, you also don’t have to tell her everything. Or even address it at all if she doesn’t bring it up. She might not even be worried/concerned/upset about it. If that’s the case, it may not need to he discussed.
However, if she asks questions, I think she deserves not to be lied to. If you don’t think she’s ready for even a basic age appropriate answer (or you haven’t figured oit how to talk about it), I think its fine to say “it’s a grown up thing that we’re not ready to talk to you about yet.”
But IMHO, don’t lie and tell her you’re wrestling.
Mommy and daddy get dressed together sometimes. We’re ok with that because we’re married.
Does mommy see you naked sometimes too, daddy?
Yes, sometimes mommy sees me naked too.
Nope, she’s 5 and has probably forgotten about it, nor does she have any concept of what she witnessed.
My 4 year old watched me and the lady bang it out on the couch Doggystyle (she snuck out of her room and spied on us.) Nothing ever came of it. She didn’t even ask about what she had witnessed. Pretty embarrassing, but it happens.