I am currently 28 years old, and don’t feel like I’m running into the best situations. I work hard, and am responsible but, for some reason just not hitting my stride. I wanted to ask the men, when did life really take off for you? After so many failures and mistakes when did you finally come to a place where you thought, ‘finally things are going my way’?
25 comments
Not to be cliche but we all have our own pace. I have finally achieved what I feel like is a great salary at 32, and I don’t drive home feeling like a baller. Life is still difficult and confusing. One little bite at a time.
Statistically people are happier each decade after 40. We tend to be more mature, stable and affluent.
It usually gets better, before it gets worse.
You spoke my heart! I’m 22. And everyday I feel like I’m heading to ultimate disaster of my life.
To add another cliche, life isn’t a destination. You may never reach what you ‘think’ is ‘it’. You may get there only to realize that isn’t ‘it’. While we must still work hard to achieve our goals and better ourselves, we must take time to enjoy the life we HAVE.
I feel like I figured it out around 32 and started hitting my stride around 35.
University (dedicating myself to something I enjoyed) definitely was an improvement. After years of struggling with mental health, I found the right therapy and that was a game changer as well.
I don’t think mine will be better at any time
34ish?
Maybe 36.
By changing my way of life, my way of thinking
I was about 40. I was (and still am) married, and had a decent career up to that point, making okay money, doing well at my job. Just not “lighting it up” or anything. Our two kids were in elementary school, and we were really busy with them.
Up to that point I had to travel a lot for work (I’m an electrical engineer by education), and it was taking its toll on the family. So I took a risk and jumped into being the DBA for a medium sized business. It was more money and zero travel.
That lit the spark. After I had been in the job for about six months, my boss quit, and I was sort of “half-promoted” up to be the IT director, along with a nice bump in pay. Along with that, I had to pick up a lot of new skills. This allowed me to keep filling up my LinkedIn profile, which got a lot of attention. I started getting headhunted, and it never stopped. I switched jobs every few years, each with another bump in pay. But even with all the advances, I was able to maintain a really good work-life balance. So great pay, time with the family, and lower and lower stress.
That was 10 years ago, and I’m now a senior developer at small online gaming company making *very* good money. My schedule is very flexible and I more or less call my own shots. Our oldest kid is in college, and our youngest is in a private high school, both of which we are easily paying for. I really feel like I “figured it out”.
About 27ish.
I would say, write down the things you want to improve about yourself, and the logical and (reachable) solution to these issues and work hard to achieve them. For every problem you have there, there is a logical solution out there.
I let you know. But probably after the divorce.
Sometimes you’re up and sometimes you’re down. There is no point at which it becomes easy.
28 years old. My whole I’ve been a depressed mess. I spent around 8 years addicted to drugs. But now I’m sober with a great job. I’m married to my best friend. Life could be better now.
I was right around your age. I had just gotten out of an awful long term relationship and bought a house which had always been my goal. Life has just been going up since then
Every year has been better than the last from when I was maybe 23 until now at 35. What changed? I started making small improvements to my life every single day. I created a system for storing my thoughts/research/calendar, I started socializing more, I went to therapy, I exercised, I tried a bunch of new hobbies, I switched jobs a couple of times etc. Basically I started treating my life like an experiment where I try new things I think I will like out, where I remove what doesn’t work, and where I keep doing what does.
It can be tiring but it has always been worth it. And I feel like I am getting closer and closer to the point where I have things figured out to the point where I can relax more 🙂
Wait.. It gets better?
The closest I’ve had to a singular moment where things changed was when I broke up with my fiancee and got fired from a job I hated over the same weekend. That wasn’t really “get better” though, so much as “bounce off the bottom”.
Overall, the improvements have been small decisions that take time to mature and be appreciated. Finding a way to exercise regularly. Getting financially stable. Finding a few solid friends. Discovering how to look for, quit and maintain hobbies. Figuring out how to prioritize myself when I need to and others when I can.
30 – for sure, you are almost there
You’re just about to the point where I was where things started getting better every year.
20s are fuckin rough man.
22, no close friends, no close family, can’t commit to women cuz I can’t love my own body enough to believe they can see past it, job searching still so I’m able to work after graduating. Life’s just hard & it’s cold in general rn.
Thinking of getting a pet if I can land a decent job. Need some affection & companionship for once I think. It’s been too stressful & lonely for too long to not treat myself to it
Apart from meetings with my manager once every two weeks (not because of anything, they’re routine for the job I’m in) life is good and I’m thankful for everything I have.
Great friends, a full time music job (outside my day job) and I’m just happy.
Mistakes = experience. Make enough mistakes to become an expert. Then life gets better
Never quit trying