Hi! So, I want a man’s insight on this dating situation.
About 3 or so weeks ago, I (20F) started dating this guy (22M) who is mildly shy. We went on two dates, and he failed to hold my hand, kiss me, or even touch me. He told me he was conservative/traditional, so I just got the vibe he wanted to take things slow. I didn’t mind either, because I quite liked him!
However, on the third date, the vibe was different. Throughout the night, he really encouraged me to drink with him—we about three shots and two pints in about 2-3 hours. I was having a good time, so I didn’t mind. At the end of the date, around midnight, he asked me if I wanted to go hang out at his place for a little while. I quickly declined, because I wasn’t particularly interested in hooking up with him. Was I wrong for assuming that’s what that invitation meant?
Additionally, I am also religious, and therefore think sex, relationships, etc. should be taken seriously. Although we do not have the same beliefs, we have talked about religion, morals, ect. a few times, and I didn’t think we were on wildly different pages. So, him asking me this threw me off.
Overall, I just want someone to explain to me what this man was thinking? My thought is he was trying to get me drunk to sleep with me. But, if that was the case, why did he fail to make any sort of move previously? Further, this date ended without him even trying to kiss me as well.
I’d appreciate any guidance tbh.
EDIT: I have legit broken things off with this human and am not asking if we are compatible. I just want to understand if it is normal for guys to basically ask to have sex with you before kissing/making a move? And how to go about avoiding that situation?
6 comments
1. We’re not psychic so we have no clue
2. You guys aren’t compatible
Yeah you gives might not be as compatible as you think.
Typically any dating question that starts with “help me understand this man” should be answered with “it’s not gonna work out move on”
In the future, you could ask what do you want to do?
Maybe he’s a bit cowardly and couldn’t make a move while sober, and just assumed you’d be cool with initiating the physical part of the relationship this way? Obviously he was wrong!
Interesting. Hard to say. I kissed my current girlfriend and took her back to my place both on the third date(or second?). But we did not have sex as she didn’t want to. We watched a movie, made out, and I took her home.
The alcohol may have been liquid courage for him though too. You drinking as well might have been to help make it not weird for him.
Also don’t be afraid to initiate things like hand holding or the kiss. In this age some guys are afraid of getting accused of sexual assault and stuff especially if they don’t have a lot of experience. Talking and asking are rarely bad things to do.