should you even ask for effort?

torn between the “if he wanted to, he would” and if this is something I should just ask for. I’ve seen a lot of opinions where typically men share that if your boyfriend has never taken you on a date or anything of that sort then he probably just doesn’t feel that you’re worth putting all that effort into…because if he wanted to, he would. But at the same time, what if he’s just nonromantic? Is that even a thing?

I feel like that is where I’m at right now where my boyfriend just does bare minimum. It always nice seeing my male friends tell me what they did for their “girlfriend” or “sneaky link” be it giving them flowers, going on dates, writing letters or just seeing their social media posts. We’ve been together for a year, and I feel like we hang out more than “date”. I’ve never experienced any of that stuff. It’s not even that I’m materialistic, I just never felt special. he didn’t really do anything for my birthday either, I celebrated it without him.

part of me believes that you shouldn’t even ask someone to put in a effort. I’m tired of having sex. I just want to feel special.