How do you adjust when you choose to remain single while all you other friends are starting a family or in relationships?

7 comments

1. I do feel isolated and left out, but im still very young and have time to decide whether a family is right for me or not. Sometimes having a family isn’t for everyone and thats alright

2. I don’t have an issue with it. I’m mainly friends with other childfree people, and I never felt the need to adjust to them having relationships. I also have other priorities in my life, so we both find ways to make time and effort for each other. If they aren’t interested in the latter and view me/their friends in general as replaceable by a partner, I don’t adjust but leave the friendship behind.

3. I have no problem with it. I enjoy my time and balance (school, motherhood, work and social life). I am single by choice atm and I find therapy helping.

4. Some friends still make an effort after getting married but they’re only just starting to have kids so this is new territory. At least one of them is pretty determined to still have a life outside motherhood and she has a lot of help so I think we’ll still be able to see each other. One of my friends who is a new mom completely forgot my birthday and I feel like I’m always the one reaching out so I’m trying to be understanding of her situation…

   It does help immensely to have friends in the same situation though. A childfree friend and I make last-minute plans all the time and it’s great. She’s married, but she and her husband have their own lives. We all hang out together sometimes though, and that’s great too.

   I don’t feel sad that everyone else is partnered up and I’m not, but I’m sad that our lives are diverging. My life feels full as it is so I’m not interested in bringing a partner into it just yet. I feel like it falls on me to supply the hilarious bad date stories to my partnered friends though, so maybe I’ll have some for them later!

5. I am very happy. It’s liberating. I don’t want children so it’s easier for me.

6. I am in my 40’s and I don’t go to events geared towards couples. I also avoid my friends when they choose to be handsy in public.

7. I don’t hang out with people who have children, but I don’t begrudge my friends who are married. They’re still my favourite people.