So i’m in a situation where I’ve been with this girl for a while and I love the girl and I’m sure she loves me also and she’s very pleasant to be with. But I kinda put myself in this position which I take full accountability which is I have businesses where I make good amount of money and I never told her about them in full detail and she has never seen anything fancy from my life because sometimes i’m paranoid girls will get compelled by the money when I meet them. Now I do love the girl but the work gets in the way which it always has been the case but more now and past 2-3 weeks, we had small fights and I think I picked them to have a reason to break up with her because usually i never pick arguments over small things. And I did break up with her and then she messaged me a couple days later and I met up with her and we have been hanging out for a few days, its been good but that doesn’t change I will travel a lot and she can’t come with me she will be busy going to school and taking care of her mother. I obviously made a mistake getting back with her even though me breaking up over such small thing was justified I just used it as an excuse and obviously I got back with her because I do love her. I will break up with her that is the solution because our personal lives are not compatible at this moment but every time I think of how to do it, what to say I get stuck in my thoughts. I have never broken up with a girl where she hasn’t done anything wrong and that I like at the same time and that part makes it tougher. Any advice?
TL;DR: Mine and my girlfriends personal lives are not compatible, I love her but need to break up. Advice?
8 comments
The tl;dr? That’s what you tell her. There you go.
Best breakup advice I’ve ever heard came from a scene in Moneyball. When cutting a player, Brad Pitt tells Jonah Hill that it’s better to give them one in the head (quick,
painless) than five in the chest and let them bleed out. i.e. Don’t drag it out.
Don’t try to console them, don’t say things you think will make them feel better, don’t lead them on with hopes that you might get back together one day. All of these are just about making YOU feel better, not them. So just be straight, and understand that you may feel shitty, but that ultimately you are getting what you want: out of the relationship.
Your mistake was picking a fight over something small to initiate the breakup. In her mind, that’s fixable because *it’s a small issue* like you said. You need to give her the real reason for you wanting to break up. Sit her down, tell her what you told us about loving and caring for her, but that your lives just aren’t compatible and it’s best for you to go your separate ways permanently. I know you don’t want to hurt her, but it’s going to happen. She’s going to feel sad. That’s normal, and while sure, it’s “your fault” it’s not actually *your fault.* It’s just human nature. She’ll be okay. Just get it over with, because neither of you deserve to be stuck in a relationship with someone that 1) doesn’t want to be with you or 2) is incompatible with your lifestyle.
Just give it to her straight. No flowery language, just tell her what you told us.
Yeah, break up with her and leave her alone. You’re bringing nothing but pain to that woman right now. Keep your money to yourself and do whatever you want with it, leave her out of it. She didn’t do a thing to deserve your suspicions.
If you like her, why aren’t you telling her about the businesses at this point? She has proven she likes you without knowing about the money. If she knew there are reasons you are gone, she will likely be more understanding instead of you skirting around issues and being secretive.
That is what you mean, right? She has concerns when you are busy and tied up with work when you haven’t given her a good reason to be busy and gone… which feels to her like you might be hiding something from her and not making her a priority? Don’t you think that would all clear up for the most part the moment that you are honest? Or are we missing something?
You don’t love her. Let her be with someone who deserves her and will have the guts to be honest with her.
If you loved her, you’d have *her* best interest at heart, not coming up with petty excuses to leave this relationship. You are selfish and cruel.
Bro go see a clinical psychologist you seem way to stressed and taking it out on her becuase of your WORK issues and judgement is going to make you lonely for the rest of your life.
Man put down your ego and concentrate on you two. Lets so you had no business, whos more important, your business or your partner?
Or is that too selfish.