30(F) almost never had sex. Everything is kinda new and exciting to me. My partner tried oral on me a few times, he is experienced compare to me so I can’t blame it on him. The problem is although I feel pleasured but I can’t reach orgasm with that, even I don’t feel close to get there.
I only experienced orgasm when he was rubbing me with his finger.
I think one reason might be because I masturbated over the past years, and seems like my body doesn’t accept anyone elses.
Or maybe because I am more relaxed in my private time.
Whatever the reason is my sex life is not as good as I expected.
We also haven’t tried PIV yet. Due to my tight pelvic floor muscle and pain.
How can I make sense more pleasurable?
I am disappointed ☹️
5 comments
Give it time! Try to be more patient with your body. These are new sensations and new contexts for pleasure. You’re right that someone’s tongue does not feel like your own hands touching yourself, it can take some time for your brain and clitoris to talk to eachother with these new sensations.
As much as you can, focus on your body and feeling good, not on orgasm. Mentally it’s important to stay in a receptive headspace, not one where you’re frustrated and trying too hard.
You get good at pleasuring yourself over time. That is normal, no worries there.
Having fucked more, and having more experience, does not automatically equal being good at it. Don’t feel like you can’t teach your partner anything anymore.
Oral is hard to get right because it is different for each woman, how to do it right. There is general stuff you can do but the mix of it all varies a lot. Some guys like the challenge of doctoring that out, others need your guidance. Don’t be afraid to guide.
Porn is hot. But porn rarely can be translated to an IRL session.
Keep trying but also focus on the things that do give you pleasure while you do that. Give him guidance and feedback when he is down there. If it feels good, if he’s in the right spot, if you want more pressure, less, faster, slower. Everything.
Some women don’t really feel much from oral, but personally, I would try many times before coming to that conclusion. No matter how much a guy has done this, the first time with any woman is a learning experience. If you are inexperienced, it is also a learning curve for you to know what you like. Focus on the pleasure as it happens, not the orgasm. That will come. It gets better the more you both learn about each other. So him doing and responding, and your guidance. Then relax and give it time. Don’t be disappointed. You are not giving up yet. 😊
Just wanna say OP that when I had really bad pelvic floor issues I uses a vibrating wand actually for massage all over my hips, pelvis, glutes, then all around the vulva. Really helps relax everything and improve blood flow. So that alone might help you achieve orgasm and hopefully more comfortable piv.
couldn’t he use his hand and his tongue at the same time, maybe you need to be warmed up first with foreplay, (nipple play)something before he just goes down on you?