I always struggle with this topic. It’s okay for me, that my boyfriend has some female friends, but f.ex. I don’t know if I’m comfortable with them spending time alone. I always wonder, if this is something I should work on, or if it’s fine to think like that.
I struggle with this especially, because my bf broke my trust 2 years ago. We worked together and build a great relationship. I started to trust him again. But It’s difficult, because I want to have healthy boundaries. From his side, there’s no pressure at all. (Pls don’t judge, it’s just additional information, so you understand, where my jealousy is coming from).
What are your boundaries for friendships with the other sex in a relationship? Maybe hearing your’s helps me remember, what mine once were.
17 comments
Not really. Yes there should be pretty strong limits in the friendship
Under no circumstances should anyone be close friends with an ex if they’re in a serious relationship. Can only lead to fuckery.
My boundaries are the same as with my male friends. No flirting, no romantic entanglements, no sex. Gender identity is not relevant to my boundaries. I have a ton of female friends, and my girlfriend trusts me and respects that I have those boundaries.
The way I see it, if a person wants to and is going to cheat, they’re going to cheat regardless of your boundaries. So do a better job of vetting the people you date, and then trust them not to. Relationships are built on trust, and if you need to set oppressive boundaries, that’s not exactly trust at that point.
I have lots of female friends – including some of my oldest, closest friends. Boundaries are something for every couple to work out. For me, the line is physical affection beyond what I’d do with a male friend, never confiding in them any information I wouldn’t also share with my wife, being transparent and inclusive about plans, etc.
For you, you may not be comfortable with solo hangs, lots texting, etc. You need to talk with your partner and see if you can come up with a line you’re both okay with.
I have lots of female friends. The limit is that I would never do anything with any of them that I would have to hide from my SO.
Yes, I have female friends, and the limits in the friendship are the same with male friends.
I wouldn’t cuddle in the same bed with my male friends, so I shouldn’t neither with my female ones.
Beside, if your bf already broke your trust, trust me, not having female friends wouldn’t fix that.
If someone want to cheat, they gonna cheat.
As long as I’m not fucking them, no worries.
No, I don’t have female friends and my girlfriend doesn’t have male friends, at all.
Nothing sexual should happen between us. That’s the line.
That’s the line for her as well. If you can’t trust them to hang out with their friends alone you just don’t trust them.
I’m in a relationship and have a best friend that’s a woman, there was never any worry, I’m not her type (I’m too male)
Yes, I have female friends. The limits with them are the same as the limits with my male friends, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do it my wife were there, don’t do anything I wouldn’t want my wife doing with her friends.
Been married 30 years, I’ve been a nurse for about 25 of them. Most of my really good friends are women, I think I have more female friends than my wife does. I had to confess that I got VERY close to one, we say I love you every time we see each other. There has never been any sexual tension between us. I told my wife about her and she blessed the relationship. I know my wife has male friends, I’m jealous by nature, but I’d be a hypocrite if I said anything. The way I see it, we should be allowed to be with whomever we choose. If my wife came home one day and said she’s leaving, I be devastated, but I couldn’t do anything about it. If either one of us cheated, that would be the end of the marriage, plane and simple, if you want to be with someone else, I can’t stop you. All I can hope for is a warning.
Yes.
And limits should be there giving reasonable protection to everyone involved, especially SO.
I live by the rule of treat others hownyou want them to treat you, nothing ever happens thatbi wouldn’t be happy with my wife doing with her guy friends.
I only have 1 female friend and she’s a lesbian who is married to a woman. Other than that, not doing it.
New female friendships have some fairly strict boundaries that I just wouldn’t cross. I wouldn’t hang out one on one, for example. But I have some female friends I’ve known for years, well before my wife, and they have a little more leeway. I might go to a baseball game with one of my good female friends since my wife isn’t much of a fan.
No. Guys and girls can’t be friends.
That is a dangerous territory to be in