UPDATE:
Update on my previous post about me (f25) and my 4,5 years relationship with my (m30) boyfriend.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/z1bbm1/my_boyfriend_m30_is_making_comments_about_my_f25/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button]
The fact that so many of you sees this as controlling and as a legit problem really opened my eyes. Thank you!
I have been blind this whole time, just accepting punch after punch because i didn’t think he was the problem but that i were. That i would overreact when he got me upset. He told me several times that i react as a bipolar (i tear up easy) – fortunately i draw a line there and said that enough was enough, and he hasn’t said it to me in 6ish months. But i still believe (even while typing this) that i tend to overreact and be too emotional, because he has said it so many times in the beginning of our relationship. He doesn’t have to say it now to make me believe it..
Tldr; boyfriend commenting on my lifestyle choices, and i need a perspective of what to do. Now I’m grateful for your comments
5 comments
I am agog that your current boyfriend has totally stopped commenting, criticizing, discounting and all-in-all controlling you, your choices, your habits and your behavior.
Telling anyone that they are overreacting or being too emotional is highly judgmental and discounts the underlying emotion of fear.
Good to hear that you stood up for yourself.
Be careful if you two plan a future together, like marriage or kids. People like him usually get very comfortable becoming extremely controlling once they feel they have you “look in”. Just pay very close attention to see if he really has stopped.
Lol what are you doing with your life,?? Just ditch thus asshole
How to show a girl you really care about her:
1. Have constant conversations ( mostly just listen to her).
2. Give her all of your time. Yes, that means no more guys time, video games, and the like. She won’t like your mom so forget spending time with her too.
3.Compliments, compliments, compliments. Her fragile ego needs this.
4. Don’t you dare try to control her in any way! That basically means she can have all the male friends she wants to include her ex boyfriends, she can have her girls night on the weekend and there’s nothing wrong with her dancing, flirting, and accepting drinks from guys, to include crashing at their place for the night if she’s had to much to drink and it’s too dangerous for her to drive home.
5. You need to be ok and not so jealous when she posts sexy pics of herself on all of her social media.
6. Don’t be too clingy.
7. Pay for everything! Dinners, trips, clothes, her dental bills, her half of the rent.
8. Be a mind reader…..pretty self explanatory.
9. Never never never let your eyes stray, never masturbate and never watch porn ever again.
10. Celebrate her use of all kinds of sex toys during your rare sexually intimate times.
Hope that helps!