My boyfriend (27m) moved in with me (22f) about a month ago. I’ve never lived with a partner before and I was so excited to live with my best friend. But, things haven’t being going the greatest. I actually feel the farthest away from him mentally, even though we’re feet away from each other.

He brought his 9 year old female cat. I’ve always liked her, but she can be a little asshole. I respect it though – she’s just being herself. The problem is, I have a 2 year old shy male cat and she absolutely despises him. We’ve tried to do all the right introductions but no matter what, she won’t come around. She tries to attack him whenever we show them through a baby gate, so we can’t have them meet face to face yet.

I’m just so tired. I miss my boyfriend because he has to stay in a separate bedroom with his cat and I have to stay around my cat. I haven’t slept in the same bed with my bf since he moved in. It’s starting to take a toll mentally, since both our love language’s are physical touch. It feels like we’re both becoming more distant.

We both think of our cats as our children and we could never get rid of one, so I’m just at a loss. I’m starting to regret having him move in. This isn’t what I wanted.

4 comments

  1. Are both of your cats food motivated? If you haven’t tried yet you could train your cats to tolerate each others’ presence by feeding them treats when they’re near each other.

  3. If you love your cat as much as you say you do.. how would you feel if your boyfriend started resenting your cat? Probably wouldn’t feel good would it. I understand you are missing being in the same room as your partner but 1 month isn’t long enough for a 9 year old cat to adjust to being in the same space as a new cat. You need to be patient. When I brought a new cat home to my then 5 year old cat she didn’t become friendly with the 5 month old cat for 3 months. It takes time. Be patient.

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