I tried having sex the first time last night but it was REALLY PAINFUL. I thought we got it all right; we did tons of foreplay, he fingered me, we use TONS of lube but it was still very painful. We managed to get the head in but after that I tapped out. I really wanna do this. Advice?

3 comments

  1. The first time is always the painful one. But it gets better each time.

    You could in theory stretch before sex a bit. Either by using a toy or by foreplay with multiple fingers one after another.

    There is some lube which have a numbing effect which you could try but you still should go slowly to not cause any damage.

    These lubes also get warm which can cause comfort or discomfort depending on how you like it.

    Just look for it on Amazon.

  2. Practice on your own first. Especially if he’s on the larger side, using dildos and working up to penetration with a partner is key. That way, you can work at your own pace without pressure. You might have to push past some pain, but don’t push yourself if it’s terribly painful. You can also practice by having him finger you (gently). Start with one finger, then two, and maybe even three if that’s what you’re interested in.

  3. A little pain is normal during your first time, but it shouldn’t be excruciating. Maybe you have vaginismus?

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