I (23M) matched with this girl (20F) on Hinge back in July while we were both in our home city during the summer break. We are currently international students studying in country let’s call it X, but we are in different cities 2 hours away by train/drive.

We went on 2 nice dates, and during our second date I expressed to her that I like her and that i want things to move forward, to which she also said yes. I also asked her if she’s okay with us being in different cities, and she said it works for her.

When we both came to our unis, I went to her city and we spent a whole day together. It was really nice, we kissed and were very affectionate with each other. We talked all day, went to different places. She said she had a really nice day with me. At this point I thought that things are going well.

We continued to text regularly, almost everyday and everything was fine until a couple of weeks ago she randomly sent a text :
“Hey, I’ve been seriously considering us, but with you in *my city* and me in *her city*, I really cannot see us as anything more than friends. You’re a great person and I wish you all the best. I’m sorry to have to do this but it felt better than leading you on.”

I was honestly shocked by this. Everything was going well and to get this text out of nowhere was hurtful. I replied:
“Hey, yeah ik it’s not very convenient but I did think it could work out with a bit more effort coz I thought we had something, but I understand if you dont feel the same way. Let me know if something changes down the line. I had a really nice time with you, wish you and your family the best!”

What hurts me is that she never even brought up the fact that she has a problem with the distance. She gave no indication or warning or never spoke about it. We were supposed to meet just 4 days later and the fact that she couldn’t even wait to speak to me in person about it and try to figure a solution out is very disappointing. Tbh I treated her well from the start. I keep replaying everything in my head to find if there’s something I did wrong but tbh I can’t find anything.

Is there anything that could change her mind? Obviously I won’t text her or ask her to come back, but a part of me hopes that she will try to initiate and maybe work on this coz I honestly did see a future between us.

2 comments
  1. they always, always blindside you like this…. the only way to anticipate her move is to watch her actions and body language no matter how subtle…

  2. Deleted and reposted. Looks like OP is going to keep doing that until he gets the answer he wants. Unfortunately, it’s not what the girl wants, obviously.

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