My boyfriend [M19] and I [F20] have been in a relationship for half a year now. It has been okay, but sometimes he can be unreasonable, like today.
I am a petite woman and there are things I can’t do by myself, like lifting heavy things. For example, one day a huge window fell in our dorm room and crashed a huge cabinet. My roommate and I couldn’t lift it alone so we asked some guys for help.
After that, they invited us to chat over a cup of coffee so we agreed. We were hanging out with them for a few days happy we found friends, but it all went to shit when one guy confessed to me that he likes me even though I have a boyfriend.
I stopped hanging out with him, but my boyfriend still gave me shit and blamed me for what happened. We fought and then he said that it irritates him how I always play the damsel in distress in front of other guys and he said some other examples all of which were things I just couldn’t do alone. He also said that he can do everything alone and he doesn’t see why can’t I.
He doesn’t want to talk to me now and I don’t know what to do. Should I apologise or something? What in the actual fuck? Who gets mad about this?
TL;DR boyfriend got mad at me because a guy likes me and says that it’s because I always play the damsel in distress in front of other guys and ask them for help
6 comments
Sounds like your boyfriend has some ego issues. Everyone’s life experience is different, and people who will invalidate your struggles with shit like “I can handle xyz, you should be able to, too”… I wouldn’t be surprised if he blamed you for worse. In this instance, no, don’t apologize.
Your boyfriend sounds like an asshole. The other guy sounds nice, maybe give him a shot?
You did nothing wrong. You gave the new guy a fair chance to be a friend. He pushed that boundry and you pushed back. That’s how my wife handles herself and I couldn’t be happier. But I also am healthy enough that if I did suffer some weird insecurities I wouldn’t take it out on her.
Well he seems like a toxic person. With that being said, constantly asking other men for favours and acting overly friendly towards them could cause conflicts regardless. You haven’t mentioned anything such, but we get only your point of view.
The one instance you have mentioned is a great example of why it is problematic. If you ask men for help and act very amicable they might naturally try to get with you. Making it clear you aren’t interested in anything more early on would require acting a bit rude when flirting begins, which is why I assume you don’t do it until it escalates. What I want to emphasize is that even if you get yourself less insecure boyfriend, he likely won’t be ok if you keep hanging out with men who you asked for help and that clearly try to flirt with you. It’s one thing to use them and other to start “friendship” with them.
Break up with your boyfriend and date that other guy 💅
Edit: the 💅 was an accident but I like it so I’m gonna leave it.
quit flirting with other dudes and wanting their attention and then maybe your boyfriend wont get pissed off with you.