We had been friends for close to a year and the whole time I had a bit of a crush on her. She went out with other guys and talked about them and I didn’t really mind. At some point I came to terms with the fact that this was just how things were and I was just waiting to get over her. Nonetheless, I was still flattered when she said she liked me. Only I didn’t really believe her much and she could tell. She said that I should trust her – really – “you just find it difficult to believe that someone can be into you” and etc. So I tried to and I was coming to terms with it. We’d make out on the roof at college and stuff. It was fun. I felt like I was lucky. But I also felt like it was temporary. She said she’d only fallen for me 3 weeks prior because of the way I looked at her during a lecture. And only 3 months before, while I was crazy about her – she was making out with someone else on the roof. Anyway, I thought it would last longer than a month. She insisted that she really wanted me in her life still and everything should go back to the way it was. She said she was ending it because she was scared but I guess she could have said anything to make a case. I don’t think I ever really got a chance. And now I’m just left trying to break down all hope I’d built up. What would you do?
13 comments
Gotta just cut your losses and walk. If you have feelings that aren’t reciprocated by the other party, it’s a no-go. You will only hurt yourself and cause yourself more heartache.
Back off as much as you need to process and move on. If that means letting her go for good, then so be it.
Personally I’d just stop talking to her. I don’t really have time for people like that in my life.
If you’re unsure about me now, you’ll be unsure about me later. It’s not something that deserves my time or thought.
Prime example when and why women want to change their mind later on. Because they always want to put the blame on the guy and will never take accountability for their own decisions or mistakes.
She wants you to be the nice guy to listen to her complain about her problems while she’s getting fucked by the assholes and douchebags, this is pretty stereotypical.
Cut her out of your life. Don’t buy into her bullshit. YOU are going to get burned in the end if you let her get what she wants.
Unless you can just have her as a sexual partner.
I have a similar story. With my case she was being manipulative and wanted to keep me in her life wherever she see fit. I felt jerked around and she blamed me for her quick change of feelings. Some girls like feeling like guys are into them and can’t help play with those feelings.
She wants it to go back to the way it was as in you get back in the friend zone and if I need you I’ll let you know.
I have no idea why you younger guys think you can be friends with a female- what do you really have in common with a female to start with? If you continue to “try” to be her friend there is nothing in your future but pain. Move on and find one that actually wants to be with you as more than friends.
Dude, just leave her ass. You are in the friendzone, nothing good ever comes from the friendzone.
Walk. Honestly you already put yourself in her friendzone with what you say before she gave you a shot. So unsurprisingly her feelings didn’t grow.
Your only move now is to tell her things CANT go back to the way they were – which was shitty for you – and walk. Don’t be pissy. Say it with a smile on your face and NEXT her. Adios, good bye, thanks for playing. Then go hit up Stacey at the bar and put this girl out of your mind.
And never friendzone yourself with a girl in the future you dumbass.
Dude she sounds bonkers honestly just cut your losses and move on
Sometimes people earn being ghosted.
**Re: Title:** Unless it was mutual where we both agreed that it wasn’t going to work, I’d probably feel jerked around. That would itself create distance.
>She insisted that she really wanted me in her life still and everything should go back to the way it was.
Not really how that works.
>She said she was ending it because she was scared
That does sound pretty dumb.
Run like Hell…she’s using you.
Walk away from those kind of chicks. Seriously, the might not have ill intentions but putting other people in this kind of chaos and then insisting on leading where things go – no. Absolutely not, this will become an even greater disaster from here on out the longer your stay with everything changing at the latest when college is over anyways.
What won’t change though is the amount of debt, your obligation to pay it back and that you have to be the one living your life 24/7, so comparing those two I would say leave the chaos behind and while college can be an epic roller coaster, the last time we fell like we can act like there is no tomorrow it is not. You are setting yourself up for your future and while she has been great to be around it might be time to move on. Thanks for all the great memories, I will hold them dear and never forget, but this is where I have to start laying the foundation on which I will build my future. All the best to you, goodbye. It won’t feel nice, it won’t be easy but it will be better than continuously dealing with something like that.