My(m31) wife’s(f30)emotions and anxiety are controlling her every action with our 6 month old and my patience is wearing thin

My wife has always had pretty bad anxiety issues. She has also always been overly controlled by her emotions. But its gone to an entire new level since our son was born. She micromanages everything about him. She always insists that things should be done the way she wants it simply because it just makes her feel better. And i have been more than accommodating for 99% of her requests, even when i think they make no logical sense. But the last month or so I have had enough.

Its like nothing i do is ever good enough. I have even gone as far to take a extra precautions that I personally thought were not necessary, just to satisfy her anxieties, and she even said that was not good enough. I am constantly checking in on her to make sure she doesnt feel overwhelmed or feel like shes doing it on her own because i want to be a father to my son as much as i can. I wanna be the father i wish i had. But she still complains that she feels like I’m not helping enough.

I understand shes a new mom and she’s nervous, so ive deferred to her for the VAST majority of things, even when it doesnt make logical sense. But he’s also my son too. She doesnt have complete carte blanche about how we take care of him. Especially when its my time to be with him.

The times when I’m taking care of him, she will come over and try to micromanage what I’m doing. if i ask her to explain the reasoning behind her suggestion, she gets upset because in her mind she shouldnt have to explain the logic behind it, it just should be good enough knowing that it will make her feel better. If i decline her suggestion she gets pissed. But I’m not doing something that isn’t necessary or doesnt make sense, simply because thats what she wants, because her illogical feelings dont get to have control over my every action.

Also, I’m his father and I’m plenty capable of making decisions on how to take care of my son so I expect her to trust/allow me to make a decision, just like I allow/trust her to do the same. After all, she did make the conscious choice to have my baby so id think she would trust the person who she chose to be the father of her child.

I think my wife, as well as a lot of moms, forget that as parents, we arent raising children, we are raising humans beings that will become adults and being overprotective will only serve to harm them in the long run.

It’s gotten to the point where my patience is nearly completely depleted and i dont know how much more i can take. I’ll NEVER abandon my son but this marriage is becoming less and less pleasant.

I’m not really sure how to approach her anymore bc it legitimately feels like no matter what itll just leave me being called insensitive or an asshole or sexist or autistic(she thinks I’m autistic bc i try not to let emotion cloud my judgement and think primarily from a logical standpoint).

Please someone tell me how to get my wife to stop leading with how she feels and think about the practicality of these situations. Or at least how to manage her emotions in a way that doesnt lead to her crying any time I try to use critical thinking in conversations with her