When do you stand up for your SO with your parents (or their parents)?

10 comments

1. Never. Haven’t had any reason to, they all get along well.

2. Immediately. Don’t let it get to a point where it’s a problem. If they cross a line then politely point it out. If they continue then raise it again and press the issue.

   This doesn’t mean you can’t have a conversation about issues with your parents, but if you have issues with your spouse then (s)he is the first person you should be talking with anyway.

3. Depends on which one is being an asshole

4. Always and quickly.

5. Immediately. I’ve found that not responding is as much of a message as responding. So choosing to not respond just makes the situation more messy if it needs to be addressed later on.

6. Respect is number 1 in all relationships. Love is important but respect Maintains healthy relationships.

7. Look I may be the only boomer here but if your parent(s) are telling something about your SO then you should listen. Do you thin they haven’t been through everything you are going through now? They have lived it already and are trying to help you not make a big mistake.

8. Wife always comes before parents. And my parents taught me that so they have no expectations that I would ever take their side in a dispute between them and my wife. Luckily everyone loves and respects each other so it’s never been put to the test.

9. Generally speaking, I’m going to stand with my partner, or support their position if I’m otherwise uninvolved.

   If we’re talking a situation where there’s an actual right/wrong and they’re being some kind of way about it, then perhaps I’d address that with them, but not in the moment. I’ve had too many partners whose partners were, let’s say, not great. I’m going to back my partner and deal with any disagreement between us later.

10. Immediately. She’s my partner. She’s the one I choose to spend my life with. She’s the one I choose to spend my future with. Why on earth would I not defend her?

    My family is very religious. I am not. Neither is my partner. My family doesn’t like this. And they made that clear. And in return I made it clear that if they couldn’t even offer enough respect to treat her well when I have her around then they wouldn’t be seeing her or me from then on.

    I’m going to spend the rest of my life with this woman because I choose to. If I did not defend her and stand by her then I’d hope she’d go find someone else who will treat her in the way that she deserves.