What is a lie or something you hid from your partner that you will never tell them?

4 comments

1. Its a secret which I can’t even share anonymously

2. Told her that I didn’t have the time as I would be on call for work.
   Played videogames all day instead.

3. I’ll never tell my Christian parents a have watched p*rn 😱

4. She was staying at my place for the weekend and bought some groceries on her way so she could cook us a dish that her family used to make. I told her that I would put the groceries away and that she just go ahead and take a shower. She went ahead to shower while I put the groceries away.

   Now, let me explain: I hate ketchup. I mean I HATE ketchup with extremely irrational levels of hatred. I cannot even begin to explain how badly.

   So, as I am putting the items away, I notice a bottle of ketchup in the bag. I stood straight, bit my lip in thought while staring out the window in silence, and went into a slight existential funk. Returning from the void, I double-bagged the threat and walked it a block away to the community dumpster.

   She was still in the shower when I returned home. Later that night, she inquired about the whereabouts of the ketchup. I told her I didn’t see any ketchup. She then rummaged through her purse and pulled the receipt. She showed me the ketchup that was printed on it.

   I suggested that maybe she left it at the store and not to worry about it. Her with her great-depression-level money management skills actually drove back to the store and got another bottle for free.

   I died twice that night.