For some people, like myself due to me being autistic, making friends or acquaintances can be tough, especially when you’ve been closed in a shell for long periods of time…thus, it puts a negative impact on one’s mentality…particularly when I have had bad experiences trusting people who’ve physically hurt me in the past. But despite that, it’s further complicated when by chance you meet people who may be considered famous in the entertainment industry (or other fields)…
Now, I have some acquaintances on Facebook who work in the anime industry as voice actors/actresses, but besides that, I tend to avoid just meeting someone famous “for the hell of it” out of the blue (think: stalking) as such candid encounters are highly frowned upon due to how most celebrities avoid obsessive fanboys/fangirls… Sometimes, they may even lose interest in meeting their fans if such people aren’t careful, thus ruining the chance for other people who want to meet their idols. For that reason, I tend to avoid intentionally meeting celebrities in places where it is not appropriate, and not draw unwanted attention to them, because I have that level of respect. Despite my acquaintanceship with some VAs on FB, however, I do what I can as a human being to be respectful of their private lives at the same time, because no matter how much I like to talk about the things I like, the anime I watch, or the things I want to do with my life, or even how much I would love to work alongside them in some way, however, I don’t ever want to do/say anything that would otherwise jeopardize my good standing with them.
Yet, even if we might be considered acquaintances on Facebook, however, there’s a part of me that wants to become a good friend (if not, a close friend) with my acquaintances, because as a child, even an acquaintance can have a positive impact on my life, and as such, I would like to be a positive influence back to them back in some shape/form…especially when I am trying to emerge from my own sheltered life…
As an Autistic individual who had always been introverted (but not by choice), I wasn’t always the kind of person who made friends very easily in school…especially when I learned a tough lesson about not taking friends for granted… I knew that I was the kind of person that wanted to have some level of control over some things that go on…but I soon learned that if I take too much control, it’s not fair for all the parties involved. Dejected, I closed myself off from the people around me because I did not want to be the one who hurt anyone.
I had very much lived a very lonely life and kept secrets from people because I wanted to ensure that I could protect myself and the people around me from conflicts and arguments, because I had always perceived conflicts and disagreements, including needlessly raising your voice where/when it is not necessary, as a sign of civil contempt and a precursor to assault and/or domestic violence/abuse…I know that feeling because I’ve had to say goodbye to my ex-fiancé this past fall after an incident occurred where she got violent with me…
But despite those circumstances, I had since learned through Church and prayer that sheltering myself from everyone is only making things more problematic than if I had simply been a little bit more open than usual without fear of conflict. I have been feeling very much that I have been emerging from the emptiness I found myself in during my abusive relationship because I had been being a bit more expressive and candid to the people I meet, as well as being more open and transparent about what I want to do with my life.
I came to realize this reality when, earlier in March 2022, I reached out to an anime voice actress I’ve been speaking to via Colorworld Hangouts, and in person at some local anime cons. I reached out to her because I knew she was very hard-working and had a family to raise, but also because I wanted to come out of my shell and understand what’s really going on with the voice actors I’ve met from time to time before/during this pandemic. I chatted with her and told her about what had been happening with me as well as what anime I’m currently hooked on and what she liked working on, to which she was impressed with my current, ongoing efforts on becoming a voice actor, myself. In particular, she also caught whim of my efforts bringing a story to life as an animation, in which I did envision her having a role to play.
Recently, I met up with her again at a small anime con in Pasadena, TX., in which I almost had a teary-eyed moment in public when she asked me how I was doing recently since I had broken up with my ex-fiancé. I told her that I’ve had some good days, some bad days and some in-betweens. But her gesture to check on me at that point had me feeling sentimental, because I’ve never before met a celebrity who ever wanted to see how I had been doing, and that made me feel rather happy. When it was all said and done, she told me that she appreciates me meeting up with her as well as talking to her on Colorworld, and to keep doing what I’m doing and just be myself no matter what people say…
Though I’ve not befriended her on any social media, however, knowing that this voice actress I’m acquainted with seemed to understand what I had gone through helped me to understand what I need to do in order to become a stronger person for myself…and though I may still be considered somewhat of an acquaintance (if not, a stranger) to her at this stage, however, I can never thank her enough for helping me to find my smile again on this crazy planet…
If only I could be more courageous to make new close friends in the most polite way possible without fear of doing it the wrong way…I can only just dream and imagine…
5 comments
Only on their terms. So no
There are thousands of celebrities who have close knit relationships with non-celebrity friends.. so yeah, I’d think so.
It’s possible. Sounds like you know what boundaries to cross and when to pull back. Just respect their boundaries and keep the interactions going at a good distance.
I fanboy over some artists and writers of my favorite books on twitter and FB. I don’t consider us close but when we have been seeing each other consistently on social media and in person for more than a few years, some do remember and can at least be passing acquaintances.
It can happen and with social media it can happen a lot more easily, One thing you gotta remember is that this is their work. Last thing you want to do after a busy day is to sit and talk about work when you want to unwind.
You’re also not talking to the real person. I don’t mean catfishing and that stuff. Most everyone who is in the public eye wears a mask. It’s the same as people do when they’re at work or online. You protect your private self and your family, and show only the parts they feel they can reveal.
If you saw some celebs around Manhattan or Southern California you might not even recognize them without makeup or with hair not styled for women, and guys with a few days beard growth. There were times In Greenwich Village where you couldn’t throw a stone without hitting an actor or musician, but you wouldn’t know it unless you studied the person. Conversely, there are areas in LA that are known paparazzi hangouts so you can see people there. But you can bet you’ll be seeing the masked public persona and not the private person. But walk around a Bristol Farms or Whole Foods and you might see several personalities in comfortable clothes and natural skin and hair.
For actors when they’re done with a role it makes sense to let your skin breathe again when they’re on breaks. Sometimes the only noticeable characteristic is body language or speaking voice.
I’m a nobody (on purpose; I would hate to be famous), and I have several celebrity friends and acquaintances; mostly top-level athletes. Not that I was going out of my way to join their circles, I just hang out in the same places they do. I treat them like normal people, and am not impressed with status or wealth. Most just want to feel normal, and avoid annoying fans bothering them in public (don’t do that).