What is your boundary with your partner regarding emotional intimacy with other people?

16 comments

1. We have a few boundaries- I guess a major one is we don’t go to other people especially the opposite sex when we are fighting to vent about our arguments and we don’t have “work wives” or “work husbands”

2. So long as the relationship between the two of us isn’t being put as second to the other person, we’re good.

3. They’re allowed to connect and be close to other people.

   The only time I’d be upset is if they no longer did that with me. That’s when it’s a problem we have to work on. As much as it sucks, if it came to this I’m to blame as well for them not feeling like they could talk to me.

4. I would have a serious problem if he was “emotionally intimate” with another woman

5. Neither of us is allowed to be in more than two romantic relationships at once and we keep each other notified of any changes in our other relationships.

6. Neither of us engage in emotional intimacy with members of the opposite sex. Both of us would have a serious problem if one of us confided in or spent one on one time alone with a member of the opposite sex. We especially do not go to others to vent about personal issues in our marriage. We are both jealous people so it works for us. We only need each other.

7. None. You do you, I do i. I dated a cheater. I left him when I caught him being emotionally dependent on another women because my gut feeling had told me that it wasn’t just limited to emotional dependency. But with my partner after him I was still the same. I feel like if my partner has to cheat he’ll do it any how. Irrespective of me controlling him or not.

8. We’ve never discussed this.

   Seems like most of what other wrote has been a given for us for the 22 years we’re together… but we never talked about it specifically.

9. I don’t think I have one really. Usually he comes to me if he needs to talk about something, but sometimes his mom or a close friend can better help him depending on the situation.

10. No emotional intimacy with people he’d fuck.

11. I’m glad he does have emotional intimacy with people who aren’t me, that’s healthy. People should have strong relationships outside romantic/sexual ones, where you can be emotional and vulnerable and really communicate meaningfully. Close friendships are good. Regardless of gender, sexuality etc.

    I think I’d start having trouble if he were to start putting someone else consistently, strongly ahead of me (beyond close family, short-term circumstances where a friend really needs some help, etc.).

    I also generally think that if you’re doing or saying things you wouldn’t want your partner to know about, you probably need to give some thought as to why and what’s going on.

12. As long as it doesnt strain our bound am okay with it.

13. I am very fortunate because my boyfriend and I are on the exact same page when it comes to cheating and boundaries. TBH, outside of family and friends of the same sex- we do not have close friendships or emotional connections with others. I know some don’t agree with this, but him and I are firm believers in “men and women can’t be friends”. For example, him and I are both appalled by the concept of “work wife” and “work husband” culture.

14. Zero tolerance should be the answer.

15. [removed]

16. I think emotional intimacy is normal to have, even outside of your relationship. But within reasonable boundaries and with mutual respect. You need to be an ear, listen to your sibling, your friend talk, about their mental health, that’s normal. Maybe it’s you that’s needing to talk about mental health, maybe yours is struggling, that’s normal to share with friends or others.

    Running to other people or the opposite sex to complain about your partner/relationship, that’s not ok IMO. That’s where you get into that slippery slope.