Profile review 33F

42 comments

1. You’re really pretty, but you definitely seem to be leading with sex and your prompts aren’t well used imo. Your first pic and the pic of you smiling are great. The “serious selfie” and “serious fully body” I’d get rid of and trade out with some smiling picture/full body.

   The prompt about how you get anything that you want with your smile and dimples seems conceited and like you’re looking for a sugar daddy instead of a bf. It really doesn’t say anything about you other than I’m hot and cute, give me things! It also comes across as sexual with the biting comment. Your bilingual prompt is great and interesting though.

2. I would remove the “surely there’s a good man out there with decent intentions.” It shows that you’re bitter about past situations with men. Just my opinion. I think statements like that sends most guys running, just like some women swipe left over some things guys say on OLD.

   I’d also remove the part about how you “tend to get what you want” also the picture where you’re bending over and a lot of cleavage is showing. You’re beautiful, and I think you could post some other good pictures as opposed to the few revealing ones. 🙂

3. For the “like back thing” keep in mind that not every profile is particularly active. OLD apps will show profiles that don’t have much activity just to give the appearance there’s a much larger pool.

   For the profile itself:

   “I tend to get what I want with my cute dimples and smile” just kind of sounds entitled/high maintenance to me (may be a cultural thing as well?)

   Talking about how your parents met / your heritage seems more like a date conversation if it comes up. It doesn’t really say anything about you, your personality, and why someone would want to date you.

   You did put that you’re open to “short term” which for many guys suggests a fling or FWB is in fact on the table.

   The really specific “man bun with green eyes and South African” to me sounds like you have a set type that you’re into, I’m not it, and I wouldn’t put much effort in even if we matched.

4. You say you are attracted to guys with green eyes and man buns, and there appears to be a guy matching said description in your “friends” photo. Just remarking on it.

5. I’m surprised you’re not getting all the hits. Yes you have sexy pictures, but you also look your age so it doesn’t feel out of place. IMO still looks classy.
   I think it probably is because you don’t look 20 (not that you look old NOOO) and that’s why some of these guys on dating apps just wanna hit easy. I would say from your pictures, you just give a vibe of “I’m confident and sexy and mature, so I’m fun. But I’m not easyyy and I have learnt from experience.” I don’t think you should worry abt the pool of guys who aren’t swiping because you’re for sure 🔥🔥🔥

6. Not sure if you’re in London, but every date I went on while there the women said similar. But I’m in the Bay Area now and it’s the same, so probably just big cities.

   Best of luck out there

7. I would avoid putting a photo with sunglasses and dogs as the main photo.

   Get rid of the ”post coffee me” photo because it doesn’t look like the others.

   Don’t write “where are all the good men?” In bio it looks negative and may make the men think that maybe the problem is you. Write something more neutral, explaining that you are here to date seriously and looking for good men.

   Your profile is very solid, it’s a little bit generic but do not worry, you have to be yourself and if you can add something more interesting do it, if not forget about it.

   From the attractiveness point of view you are good looking and probably considered attractive by 90% of men at least. That’s not the problem.

   Honestly if your ratio is low it may be that you are liking and matching with the wrong men, in the end you do the same with men.

   Or maybe your lifestyle and personality don’t match well with men, hard to tell from a profile!

   sorry for your breakup and good luck!

   ​

   P.s. good etiquette is to censor the faces of other people in group photos.

8. 30 – 40% match rate is pretty good and in line with most women on dating apps per some Tinder insights people have exported, so I wouldn’t feel bad about that. Average men float around a 2-5% match rate.

   I’m struggling with my feedback and might have to go look again soon. Initial reaction is that you’re obviously attractive but I might not swipe because I didn’t feel like I got much sense of you as a person and anything substantive for us to click over. I also thought some of your responses to prompts read a bit thin or dare I say shallow? Blanking on the phrasing and can’t go back with mobile right now but your response about getting what you want by being cute? Ehh.

   I’m sure you’ll do fine re: volume. But I just got very little sense of who or what you’re looking for. I don’t think I’d expect you to swipe on me based on the profile.

9. The photo that says, “rate my fit” is a close up selfie and seems more image focused than connection on a deeper emotion level.

   You mention green eyes and features and accents which might lead to people feeling like if they don’t fit those, they should move on.

   I’d love to get more of a sense from your profile about what you’re passionate about and how you spend your time. I think a little more depth would help!

   I concur with everyone who said to get rid of anything remarking, “Where are the good men” because it sounds like you have a scarcity mindset around dating prospects. Potential partners pick up on your self confidence and your ability to enjoy life and thrive on your own.

   Good luck!

10. The part about green eyes seems racially coded, since people with green eyes tend to be white. Remove the part about how you get what you want with your great smile — you’re already displaying your looks in your photos, you don’t need to tell us about your looks too.

    Also, why do this weird post with your photos broken in half? We can’t give you an authentic reaction to seeing the photos when they’re chopped up.

11. Why are you not disclosing that you are trans on your profile?

12. Take out the situationship to situationship line!

13. You’re very attractive, and that’s obvious from the photos, so like others have suggested, you should probably remove the prompt about being cute and getting what you want because of it because men will already be able to tell you’re the type of girl who gets what she wants 🙂

    Also, while I also am attracted to men with man buns and green eyes, I wouldn’t put it on my profile because every guy who doesn’t have that will probably feel like there’s no point of matching with you. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten a like from a guy who’s profile says he loves blonde and blue eyed girls and so I don’t match back because I’m thinking, what’s the point? I’m a brunette with brown eyes, I already know I’m not his type. Unless you literally only want man buns with green eyes, I would remove that comment.

14. The “rate my fit” prompt should probably involve a visible outfit, no??

15. “Only” 30%-40% response rate? And only 1/3 like you back? And you think that is a poor response rate?

    Frankly I don’t see that you have a problem.

    My view of using OLD, it’s a numbers game. Once you have contact with the other person then you can filter out the ones that you decide are not compatible. I don’t think any tweaking of your profile will really make much difference.

    So having so many guys responding/reaching out to you is a good thing IMHO.

16. Some of your pictures looks heavily modified by filters. For me, that’s definitely a turn off as it’s hiding what you are like and it makes you look fake.

    Otherwise, I think your profile is fine!

17. I don’t have man bun or a dope accent. I think you are beautiful and the other things are great but I would swipe left knowing I’m not your type.

18. The whole thing gives me “I still think I’m in my twenties” vibes.

19. I think you’re really cute. If you’re around NYC+ burbs, wanna get a caffeinated beverage?

20. In general your profile is really good but since you are looking for a long term relationship. You should be hinting/highlighting what you have to offer in a long term relationship. Simply stating you want one will not likely attract the people you are looking for.

21. You’re pretty but this profile comes off as vain and conceited to me…

    “What if I told you I usually get what I want with my beaming smile and cute dimples?” Is very cringey.

    Your profile seems kinda shallow because you only really state the physical things you’re looking for in a guy while your pictures tell very little about your personality. It’s literally just selfies or you sitting in a park with ice cream or a dog.

    If you’re looking for a real and lasting connection, you’re going to have to start prioritizing hobbies and interests over good angles & lighting.

22. This is also just my own thing, but when I see that people are ‘not political’, that has to be one of the biggest turnoffs: it’s either not having a moral compass OR a lack of awareness in what’s happening in the world around you

    I’m sure there are plenty of guys that say the same thing in their profile so more power to you

    Sorry if that was harsh! That’s just my own take and likely not a thing most people assign a great deal of importance to like I do

23. If people are actually reading your profile before swiping, the man bun and green eye comment is probably off-putting. You don’t need to say that. Make your door accessible to all, and then weed them out later. You may be surprised in what you end up liking.

    I have a man bun, but my eyes aren’t green. So I wouldn’t swipe on you even if I found you attractive. Because it reads to me as you won’t be satisfied until you find the green eye combo

    🤷‍♂️

24. A few things:

    I would get rid of the pic with sunglasses. Many people on OLD want to see the face and sunglasses hid it. If you have another pic with your dog without the sunglasses I would use that one. Dog pics while overused are useful since it shows you like animals and single pet owners like that.

    You are attractive and while that is a benefit for OLD it can also be a negative, people will be careful since bots are prevalent and therefore viewers will be extra vigilant on analyzing the profile.
    The way around that is that every image on your profile should tell the reader something about you, your hobbies or personality. Only the first image tells me something in that you like dogs. The other ones however don’t tell me anything about you. If you have pictures of you doing things you enjoy or showing off an aspect of your personality I would use those.

    The responses to your prompts are fine (if you are dead set on the prompts I would change the first one if that isn’t what you are looking for, the other two really doesn’t bother me. It’s really the pictures that need work. Men mostly go off of the pictures anyway.

    You are answering the question but the question you need to answer is what kind of guy you are trying to attract? How are you initially trying to weed out the guys who are liking your profile. Remember there is no tone of voice and facial expressions with words, you might be not be serious but the reader doesn’t know that. Right now your prompts given the impression you want a multilingual South African. Your responses here says that’s not the case but the reader doesn’t know that so I would use different prompts that gives you a chance to attract the men you want.

25. Fewer selfies, more photos of you doing activities you enjoy

26. “South African guys with man buns and green eyes”

    That’s gonna immediately exclude the vast majority of people. When you list very specific features like this a lot of people are just gonna be like “welp, that’s not me, good luck then.”

27. I think your photos could use some improvement. They are almost all selfies, which says very low effort to me.

28. [removed]

29. Unless you only want a south african with a man bun and green eyes I would recommend removing that as guys without these features will immediately know they are not your type.

30. Your type is obviously not working for you so give another guy a chance.. I’d swipe right on you but after reading what you wrote, I wouldn’t swipe right on you..

31. You’re coming across as full of yourself ie. “I get what I want” “this is my secret superpower.” Try to come across as more humble and gracious. You’re selling yourself as a vixen villain. Not attractive.

    Also, don’t get into details about your physical type. There are not many guys with man buns and green eyes. Focus more on character traits, you’re 33.

32. “I tend to get what I want with my beaming smile and dimples.”

    Oh my god girl you couldn’t be any more of a red flag if you tried. 🤦🏻‍♀️

33. The pics are good but I would lead with the first full body pic, which is your best one. Not sure why people think it’s a good idea to lead with a sunglasses pic.

    Captions are fine but I’d lose the Green eyes/South African one because you are using one of your limited prompts to appeal to a fairly small population at the risk of excluding the rest. I get that you like that type but it also comes across like you might be very particular and picky, which is a turn off for guys. And it’s not really going to change who reaches out to you. So maybe replace that by saying you are looking for something long term. You can also caption your photos…don’t know if you are aware of that.

34. if u have to explicitly specify man bun and green eyes then ur not gonna get a lot of matches. Just say those r qualities ur looking for.

    >I’d really really like to find one decent guy, that will stick around for good this time!!

    U cant write that and want guys with a man bun and green eyes. Ur red flags all over.

35. Online dating is a tenacious numbers game.

    You could be the most well-rounded human in the world, and you might not be for someone.

    Don’t feel bad about choices fading out, it’s a world of excess. We can’t stay on top of every option.

    What I do is stick to 3-5 guys I’m chatting with, set up dates with them, see how it goes, and repeat. When I had like 30 convos going at once it made me depressed and overwhelmed and understimulated.

36. This has probably been said, but I haven’t read through the comments.. but you do realize guys without man buns and green eyes are likely not to bother to swipe right? Maybe they would anyways but, no guy is going to want to pursue something serious knowing their looks were your second choice. Maybe just a 1 night stand, but personally, when a guy has “love blondes with blue eyes” I wouldn’t bother to pursue him at all (I have brown hair with green eyes).

37. I actually remember coming across your profile, (big UK city, west right?)

    I decided not to match because of the “I tend to get my own way because of my cute dimples and smile”

    I’m also looking for a long term thing (not strictly but just seeing where things go) and that sentence just made me think you are high maintenance and it wouldn’t be a equal relationship, a bit of a put off. Not saying that’s your personality at all, just how you came across.

    I do hate the hinge prompts, I wish we could just add a bio or put it in our own words. Online dating is hard enough and having to restrict how you put yourself across can limit your matches.

    Also the whole green eyes man bun thing. That’s not my style at all so I just assumed you wouldn’t be into me as you were very specific.

    Good luck, I’m sure it will work out eventually! I was married for 4 years and new to dating so I know how you feel.

38. From your profile, you have a lot of searches for M2F transition. Obviously you are who you are, but I feel a lot of people would want to know ahead of time.

    I live in the now, so I’d totally go out with you 😉

39. 30F here! I only have one selfie on my profile. I listed a few of my interests as well but not all. I would not show any cleavage at all (I know). But we can save that for dates! 😅 obviously, I’d swipe right on you if I was a guy. I am Filipina too and good luck! 😂

40. You’re hot. Tbh Most ppl will just swipe right.

41. There are a number of reasons I’d not be interested:

    * You make very specific what type of guy you prefer: A South African with a man bun and green eyes. Most guys who don’t fit that exact profile are likely to think, “Well, what’s the point of trying to talk to her?”
    * ‘Not Political’ is a major turn off. Not just for me; it’s been discussed on this forum often. Many share that opinion. A lot of people aren’t interested in someone who doesn’t bother to pay attention to what’s happening in the world and has no interest in those who make the laws that drive our lives. You stand for nothing?
    * *”Tired of hopping from situationship to situationship! Surely there’s a good man out there with decent intentions?…HELLO?!”*
    * Oof…so much to unpack here. Why are you blaming the men for you going from one situationship to the next? That’s on you as much as the other person. If you’re choosing so many men that treat you in a way you don’t want, that’s on you at some point. Learn to filter better.
    * And this is another thing that is discussed often on this forum: Shit like, “There are no good men!!” is such a red flag. Voicing your negative attitude about men and dating is a turn off. And, again, you’re blaming others for issues that you’re just as responsible for.
    * And if you’re tired of jumping from situationship to situationship, why are you ‘open to short-term’? You’re giving off mixed signals. What is it you want? Do you even know?
    * *”I tend to get what I want…”* Even if that’s true, the air of entitlement and arrogance is so gross. Major turn off.
    * Too much bad punctuation (?!?) and ‘haha’ and such. Comes off as juvenile.

    In addition to all the above, your profile doesn’t really tell others anything about you. Basically all you’re sharing is that you’re bad at dating, you think you’re pretty enough to get whatever you want, and you’re bilingual. OK…what am I supposed to do with that?

42. Oooh take out the passive aggressive comments. Just put your mindset on how you wanna be heard and how you wanna treat your potential partner …