Looking for advice from those of you have broken up with a fiancé and got back together. Many of the “non-negotiables” for marriage were not being met/fulfilled and there was no effort being put toward these issues. After our tough break up conversation, they started working on the issues. Now, they are saying they’ll do anything to have me back and has shown me the progress/plans in place. I truly believe the changes will be made/are being made. Their family is ready to welcome me back, despite me basically dumping this person recently. But, my family (I predict) is going to have some issues with it. They don’t really believe in “going back”. I said yes to their proposal because I do see a life and marriage with them. Things were getting in the way. But I want to try again.
What do you all think? Have you been through a similar situation? How do you handle the judgement/misunderstanding?
4 comments
I think that, if you want to try to make it work, and they’re taking those steps, then go s l o w.
Date for a while, take your time. Give them the space to do the work and give yourself the space to see if they’re actually putting in the effort and the time to see if it sticks.
My MIL, who was not always my biggest fan, managed to pressure her daughter into breaking up with me right after we graduated from college (I was staying at their house until I could find a place of my own). That lasted about a week. We just went on and ignored it. We’ve now been together 38 years, married 31.
Yes. You need to make it very clear to your family that this is your partner, your choice. They need to be their biggest fans for as long as the relationship works for you.
Make it very clear to them that, if they break this rule, you will not be able to spend time with them in the same manner over the holidays etc. Reiterate that you need their support and none of the judgment.
People do change when THEY decide to change. Good luck!
Dont plan on getting married for another 2 years. You need to make sure the changes stick