TL;DR – BF and I were texting around 11pm. Suddenly he stops responding to me but I see him online on LinkedIn going in and out of active mode every 30 mins for like 3 hours. In the morning I brought it up to him and he says he wasn’t online. I feel like he’s lying and hurt that he ignored me.
We’ve been dating for about a year. Consistent texting and saying goodnight. This particular night he told me “goodnight in advance” incase he falls asleep during the movie we were watching. For reference he usually says goodnight later around 12am but he said it earlier so I thought he was tired and wanted to get some sleep. He did mention that he’s been waking up earlier for work so I thought okay. But we were still texting after that. We were in mid conversation and he stopped responding to me. After awhile I said goodnight to him because I thought he was asleep. I browse the internet and I notice his active status on LinkedIn, which went to mobile, and then back to active again. From my understanding LinkedIn is accurate when it comes to these things, as I’ve tested it out recently. In the morning I brought it up to him by telling him he was still awake at the time and he says he was not. I haven’t brought up the LinkedIn example to him yet because I’m thinking of how to word it. So now I feel like he lied to me and was saying goodnight early as an excuse to not have to engage with me further. But my thoughts are – why would he lie about that and was he intentionally avoiding me. How do I proceed with this information?
UPDATE: I confronted him in a non accusatory manner. I said I was online and noticed he was active after he didn’t respond to me, which is why I stated he’s awake. He’s committed to saying that he wasn’t online and said it’s a mystery as to why it showed he was online. Well guess the situation is solved lol
7 comments
I honestly don’t think this is a big deal. Leave aside the fact that you did the same thing – said good night then continued browsing the internet – it’s ok for him to switch off from texting you. Texting means you cannot concentrate on anything else so it’s actually quite a distraction.
Don’t read anything into this other than maybe he just wanted some quiet time!
Is it really a hill worth dying on?
I loved my ex more than anything and I still did this because I knew sooner or later I’d fall asleep and I’d just have no energy to consistently text him. I think you’re overthinking it quite a bit and I would let it go. I doubt he’s doing anything sketchy especially if he was just on LinkedIn. If it becomes a habit then you can question it but he probably just wasn’t in the mood to talk and I promise you that doesn’t mean he’s losing feelings.
I don’t think he should’ve lied about it but this doesn’t seem like something to get worked up about and I wouldn’t even have asked in the first place… it’s LinkedIn… did he just not want the distraction so he said he was going to bed but is staying up looking at new jobs or networking with people in his field?
Plus some people just like to browse the internet and only browse before bed. I don’t think something like this should’ve been brought up and made this big of a deal over
I don’t see why he would lie about such a small thing. If you haven’t noticed him lying about other things, I would just trust him and drop it.
Way overthinking this. Dude might have just been browsing reddit or something off and on before bed. Unless he’s displayed untrustworthiness or betrayed your trust in the past, yeah, you’re super overthinking something this small
Maybe he just wanted to browse the internet and not text anymore. Why are you making it a big deal?