My mom has told me about 5 things when it comes to dating and everything of the sort.
1. Don’t ask a man out.
2. Don’t pay for a meal on the FIRST date if he asked you, unless at the end of the meal if he’s being a dick then you pay for your part and you leave it at that.
3. Always make a man wear a condom.
4. Don’t start dating till you get into college. dating is for marriage and when you’re in college you meet people on a similar path as you.
5. He needs to be tested.
She hasn’t told me to wait for marriage to have seggs or anything like that. I’m young and I’m not into dating right now and to be honest I don’t ever think I will want to get married.
when it comes to marriage and relationships I’m never seeking them out if you know what I mean. I’m not about to be on tinder but if i meet someone then I do.
The only thing is I’ve heard a lot of guys say (especially my age) that they like when a girl makes the first move.
16 comments
Damn is ur mom single or divorced?
3 and 5 are good advice generally
Your mom’s old school. Have these in mind but don’t live by them. Does she seem happy with all her choices. She made mistakes too
Advice 1 and 2 will get you in trouble. Things have changed.
As a guy id say…
1. If you like a guy let him know
2. Go to any date expecting to pay your share but hoping the guy is enough of a gentleman to pay up.
3. 100% yes
4. Start dating when you meet someone you feel the desire to date. Don’t set a strict time frame.
5. If the guy has had previous sexual partners then yes a test is recommended. This is also why number 3 is a yes.
Break the rules and make mistakes. You’ll find out what works for you in the long run.
1) absolutely wrong. This ends in you giving unnoticed signs and him not being aware of your interests.
2) That’s for you to determine. While I still assume that I will pay for the first date always, some women are uncomfortable with that as they think that men think it makes you owe them.
3) 100% yes!! Don’t let him guilt you into not wearing one.
4) An under discussed part of dating young is discovering more about yourself and your preferences. It’s also about making mistakes and learning from them. Dating doesn’t have to end in marriage. Also, dating can just be fun, simple as that.
5) If this is about STDs then 100% yes, you both should be. He deserves the same peace of mind you do.
If this is some emotional game where you fabricate scenarios to see how he reacts, fastest way to make him loose interest.
Hopefully this helps. Have fun😁
Just my 2 cents:
1. I am a go getter. I always felt more comfortable if i picked the guy and took lead. That was my default mode. Worst thing i ever did. The only times dating led anywhere for me was when he did the asking out & leading initially at least. Please never ask a guy out. EVER. U can always drop hints. So many ways of doing it. Let the man feel like a man.
2. I 100% agree. Man who cannot buy u a coffee or drink or does and right away asks for a payback (in any form), just leave. Not worth it.
3,4,5: not too sure.
You could ask a man out, and pay for your half of meal if you want to be perceived as independent.
>Don’t ask a man out.
>Don’t pay for a meal on the FIRST date **if he asked you**
But if you never ask a man out, then the only way you’re on that date is if HE asked you, so the advice is never pay for a meal on the first date?
I’d pay for the coffee on the first meet up. But if we’re not compatible, I’d rather waste an hour in the morning than an entire evening over an awkward dinner.
>I’ve heard a lot of guys say (especially my age) that they like when a girl makes the first move.
A lot of guys like it when you have sex with them and do not ask for any kind of commitment, basic respect, or anything else. What guys like is not necessarily what is best for you.
It’s outdated advice but of course she only tries to help. Thing is, she’s encouraging passive behavior (=> less chance to get what you are looking for) and entitled behavior (expect to be paid for on the first date). The “if he asked you” on point 2 is funny because point 1 is “Don’t ask a man out”. So if you follow her advice you will never voluntarily pay for a first date unless the guy is “a dick”.
I think you need to know what you’re looking for. If you’re looking for a very traditional thing with the man making the decisions and being the breadwinner then her advice might be good. If you’re looking for a more progressive type of dynamic with both partners pulling their weights and contributing about equally, then lose any advice recommending passive behavior and passing on the bill.
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Now, for the other points:
3: I’m not willing to sign it as is, but I would go with “Use protection”. A condom for women (they exist, but kill sensation just as much) exists and can be used.
4: You know, I’m gonna leave that one standing because I feel like you know what’s wrong with that advice and you’ve already said something about it in your post
5: You **both** need to be tested.
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Your mom’s advices prevent you from having agency, from taking action, from being an equally responsible adult (using protection yourself, getting tested yourself). I don’t like it, sorry. But again I’m sure she’s just trying to help.
Girls who approach guys are god-send !! 🙌🏼
There is a far more “risk” for a guy to approach a girl than it is for a girl to approach a guy. 🙂
1. Asking a man out gives you an edge. You get to pick and choose instead of having to passively wait.
2. I have no opinion. A cultural thing and culture changes.
3. A very wise policy. Good idea to avoid STDs.
4. Again, very astute of your mother. It’s not a good idea get stuck in a long-term relationship prematurely. You’ll grow apart easily and there will be much unnecessary pain.
5. Tested for what?
1. Is terrible advice. If you like someone, don’t play games, just be upfront and ask them out o at least let them know you like them.
4. Is ehhh. Dating doesn’t really lead to marriage really often.
You can ask a man out if you wanna. There’s nothing wrong with a woman making the 1st move regardless of what anybody tells you.