I moved to the UK a few years back to marry my husband. Recently we decided to get a divorce and told everyone.

I don’t have any family here, and for various reasons I’m unable to go to my country. My friends here will celebrate it with their own families.

Anyone in a similar situation? What activities can I do to still enjoy it despite spending it all by myself? I’m in Surrey if this info helps.

32 comments

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  2. Could you look at volunteering at a homeless shelter? I know there are a lot in London that are always looking for help over Christmas.

  3. You can still enjoy Christmas alone, have a nice relaxed one this year? It’s only 1 year and you can still call/vid chat with your family to see how their Christmas goes?
    How about a pamper session – hair mask, face mask followed by a nice hot bath with essential oils?
    Then curl up on the sofa with a blanket and watch your favourite Christmas movie

  4. We often have stragglers of friends join us for Christmas.

    You can’t easily ask “can I join you and your family for Christmas” but perhaps there are some friends who could offer?

    If you are going to be on your own, I’d set up for a decent sit down meal and some films. Go for a long walk in the morning to get some air and build your appetite then home for a slob in front of the TV.

    You could also look to volunteer, there are quite a few homeless shelters who may be glad of an extra pair of hands.

  5. I’m not really familiar with Surrey, but there will be places you can book to go for Christmas dinner. You’ll likely have to book in advance, but I’m sure there’ll be other people on their own there. I’ve been to a carvery type place for Christmas dinner before and the atmosphere was lovely.

    Have some presents ready to for the morning – if you don’t expect you’ll be receiving from others then buy yourself a couple and wrap them up just for Xmas morning.

    Make your home as cozy as possible, pick out some good films to watch and get some really nice food/snacks in for the afternoon and evening. You could make it a proper pamper yourself type day

  7. I always spend Christmas alone and love it. I used to go away for a few days and investigate a new place but last few years I’ve stayed at home and I’ll go for a nice long walk, few drinks while reading and just generally have a nice relaxing day with no distractions.

  9. Every year I visit relatives on Christmas Day, last year I decided to stay at home, be lazy and spend the day on the sofa, watching shit on the telly.

  10. What’re the time zones like with your parents/ family back home? I lived in Egypt and away from all of my family in the UK and I FaceTimed them for like 4-5 hours 😂. We cooked/food prepped together and ate together then just sat and chat for another hour or two. They put me on a small portable speaker which helped me to be heard. Then I watched Christmas films and found a cafe near me which had some activities I could get involved in. Morning was loneliest but that’s when I called friends and family also, and went for a morning walk.

  11. Because of the pandemic I had to spend Christmas 2020 on my own. One thing that I would suggest is to be kind to yourself and just allow yourself to eat and drink what you like when you like! Watch movies, get snug, see if you can start a WhatsApp group with your friends to see what everyone’s up to throughout the day.

  12. I’ve spent a few Christmases alone since my husband’s passing it’s usually me ordering whatever foods I want, cakes, milkshake, fast food etc I’ve done baking as a hobby for Christmas and distributed it across the neighbours one time got invited to spend Christmas with them : )

  13. Get a takeaway (we had Turkish last year, but Indian is a great contender), and go for an afternoon walk in the park. We take coffee and it’s full of kids riding their new bikes etc, dogs having a great time and people with their new Christmas jumpers!

  14. I’ve spent quite a few on my own. My advice would be…

    – have a day that is all about you. It’s a day off or two (I’m presuming) so be lazy and relax.

    – you don’t have to do christmasy things on your own. I love cooking and eat well generally, but on xmas it’s more likely to be quick and easy things, probably too much of it, basically no effort I’m going to relax (e.g. a pre made or frozen pizza, a load of cheese, bottle of whisky and a few nice beers, some stuff to make fairly decadent sandwiches where normally id be watching money or whatever.

    – you might have some down moments where you feel lonely. Come up with some activities you are going to do, dont’ just wing it. Going to have a nice bath with candles and bubble bath? how about a film you’ve meant to watch for a while. drive to somewhere for a nice wintery walk maybe?

    – keep off social media. It’s terrible for making us compare our days to the illusion of other people’s. I’ve had plenty of christimases not alone and they’ve been a mixed bag. Some people get really stressy and it turns into a nightmare, but they’re just as likely to have lots of pictures of them smiling even if they jsut binned the turkey and stormed off to cry because some family member wasn’t dressed up as much as they liked 2 mins after that photo.

    basically just enjoy the day your way.

  15. I’m single and in my family we alternate Christmas so my siblings can go to the in-laws. I always just chill at home, get some good food, good movies, have a long walk. Just use it as a me day!

  16. don’t do Christmas, just take a day to pamper yourself. long lie in, big bath, cheeky glass of bubbly, eggs n bacey, listen to your music, watch what you want, have nice dinner and a bottle of red, cosy up and enjoy the peace and quiet

  17. On Christmas Day last year I cleaned my flat, got a bunch of corner shop food for lunch and ordered a curry at midnight, it was a good Christmas for me and free of hassle. Didn’t need anything else.

  18. Your friends might be celebrating with their families but if I knew a friend had recently divorced and had no Christmas plans I’d be inviting them to join my family. Have your tried dropping it into conversation that you’re not sure what you’re going to be doing with yourself?

  19. I do my favourite food (not traditional Christmas dinner), buy nice stuff for a luxurious bath, and get a load of my favourite films ready. Of course I arrange video chats with important people who I can’t visit.

  20. If I found out one of my parents was having to spend Christmas alone I would be so so happy to have them join me and my family. I wonder whether you could join anyone else

  21. I’ve spent a few Christmas days alone. It’s not so bad. I made sure I had everything in to make myself a special meal, I had plenty to watch and I treated myself to something nice to drink. Then I just had a chill day.

    If you enjoy long baths or a pedicure you could do that in the morning, then get ready and enjoy snacks and a movie.

  22. Could you inveigle your way in to a New Years party? These tend to a more open ‘and friends’ event…

    Christmas has turned into a pressure cooker of stress for someone in the family… I’d sit back and enjoy not having to do it one year 🙂 🙂

    As for the day other people have mentioned Zoom, but are you aware of the various ‘Group Watch’ options the various streaming services have? Basically choose a film, create and circulate a party URL (see below) other people can join and everyone watches the program at the same time (they can also comment in the chat or pause it and talk through the conference).

    Surprisingly it is a different experience from watching on your own, These have been a lifesaver in These Times of COVID

    * BBC has [Together](https://www.bbc.co.uk/together/)
    * Disney+ GroupWatch (3 people icon)
    * Amazon Prime Watch Party (little party popper icon) doesn’t work on purchased titles
    * Netflix needs [https://www.teleparty.com/](https://www.teleparty.com/) which only works on Chrome browsers (which also allows group watch with YouTube HBO hulu)

    Newer smart TV support Disney and Prime

  23. You can very likely find a pub doing Christmas dinner if you book in advance. You’ll pay a fair bit but worth it for things like the lack off fuss, having a post-lunch Christmas brandy by a fireplace and chatting to similar folk in high cheer.

    If not, a Christmas day stroll is good as you’ll give and get lots of Merry Christmases and it’s very tranquil.

    Or just hunker down and do as you wish – cook a plate-sized steak, drink wine in your pants and watch awful films if that is what you want to do – sometimes the best Christmas presents we get are just us giving ourselves a break

  24. I would just ask friends or colleagues if they got room for one more. People are usually generous that time of year and will sort you out.

  26. Have a day pampering yourself. Nice food and drink, watch your favourite movies, nice soak in a bath. Listen to your favourite music, read your favourite book again.

    Been on your own is better than been with someone you don’t want to be with.

    Try watching a real feel good show like Ted Lasso

  29. If it was me, i would do a parkrun in the morning to see others and get some fresh air. You can walk if running is not your thing, but they are social and fun. I am in Surrey too and know a few that operate on xmas day.

  30. My favourite Christmas ever was the one that I spent at home on my own. I had no one dictating how I spend my time, I cooked and ate my favourite meal, I watched my favourite movie, I relaxed, fully and completely.

  31. A bottle of scotch or a few bottles of wine, takeaway, and binge watch die hard and home alone series. I’m not being cheeky, home alone always makes me feel christmassy. Take a walk to nearest church on Christmas Eve, they usually have a tree and choir singing. I’m an atheist but I like choir music. Wish a few people a merry Christmas. Remember everyone’s always a little miserable on actual Christmas day.
    Edit: i would suggest against spending it with friends and their family, you will just feel miserable. Remember this too shall pass and you will have many wonderful Christmas in the future

  32. Find the nearest parkrun that’s operating on Christmas Day and go along, the atmosphere is great. And you don’t have to run, walking is fine. Then book yourself in for Christmas Day lunch at a nice restaurant 🙂

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