TLDR: After talking with my boyfriend to make changes, things always go back to “before”. Is it worth staying in the relationship?

So my (25F) boyfriend (25M) and I have been dating for 6 years. We have been through the ups and downs together as we started dating in high school and have been together the entire 6 years. One thing I haven’t always been the best about is communicating what I need.

Within the past year, I decided to prioritized myself and started therapy. I have been it in the past, but nothing really stuck. However I took everything to heart this time and changed my diet/exercise and lost a bunch of weight. I also focused on self care more in general and focusing on things that make me happy. Additionally, I started communicating more with my boyfriend on what I need in the relationship.

Within the past year or two, my boyfriend and I started talking about houses and marriage. I think it finally sunk in what this would mean long term. I feel like at this point we act more like we are in a long term marriage then a young relationship. I have communicated to him what I need more of, which is a physical relationship and just more words of affirmation. I don’t think our sexual needs align a lot of the time. After several deep conversations, I feel like he listened to me and wanted to make a change to make our relationship work. After these talks, things will change for a couple weeks/months and then go back to how they were before talking.

He is a great guy and like I said earlier, my best friend. I really do love him. He has supported me through a lot and I have supported him through a lot. Even though I have communicated what I need, it always goes back to default. I don’t know if it worth it to keep having these talks if it doesn’t change long term. I know relationships take constant work/communication but I don’t know if this is too much. So my question is, do I stay with him and just improve my communication or is it time to end things?

1 comment
  1. don’t fall for the sunk costs fallacy. if you don’t see it ever get better just cut your losses and end the relationship.

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