How do you know you’ve met the one?
There’s another post in this forum discussing why men marry so quickly after leaving a previous partner they never wanted to marry. Other than timing or desperation, what do you think was different about the person you’ve suddenly decided to marry?
What personality traits, attitudes, or lifestyle was different about “The One” that set them apart?
Or do you think it was more an internal change and attitude in you that made you ready to meet the one?
Specifically looking for men that are engaged or married to the one that had previously lived with or been with women for a long time knowing that the one was still out there and that she just wasn’t it.
5 comments
I think its mostly timing.
You could meet the girl of your dreams at 25…but not want kids or marriage at that time. Its all about timing, in the end.
There is no “the one”. There are thousands of “point seven fives”, hundreds of “point eight two fives”, and dozens of “point nine zeros”. But no “the one”. It’s all about compromise. What are you willing to accept to get what you want. And it’s a two way street; you aren’t anybody’s “the one” either. But you can be close enough to call it good.
[edit] Credit where it is due, to Dan Savage who is the first person I heard put it this way.
I don’t believe in “the one” concept. I believe that you are compatible with many different people. I’m a woman but I don’t like monogamous relationships and I was “meh” about commitment. This is gross and TMI.
I knew my partner was the person I wanted to be with because one day we were doing buttstuff and he had an accident, and I just instinctively wiped it away with the gloves I had on. He’s pretty shy and introverted and I did not want to embarrass him. It then occurred to me that if my partner ever got sick, paralyzed, etc I’d be happy to wipe his ass for him. Forever. After I finish my 2nd degree we plan to get hitched.
My partner was just my complete best friend in every way. He encouraged me to go back to school and pursue my dreams. He built me up when I was torn down. He’s always believed in me and I can always be my authentic self. A few days ago I had food poisoning and barfed up my guts and he immediately cleaned it up and was super kind to me even though I was literally disgusting. My partner has significant OCD.
As long as you believe in “the one”, you’re very unlikely to end up in a long lasting healthy relationship. There is no such thing. If you think you actually meet someone who is “the one”, that’s likely a doomed relationship because you aren’t living in reality
This post was inspired by this [comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/z0ybow/how_why_do_men_in_their_20s_30s_sometimes_even/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)