You know how some people say, fake it til you make it. Well, I can’t seem to do that because it makes me burnout. Yeah yeah, I admit I’m an introvert but damn I just hate the feeling of faking it like I suck at social skills but I just don’t like the idea of being fake with your emotions and the way you are. I understand it’s important to work on our social skills because it will help you in the long run. I guess running away from your weakness whether it’s social skills, anxiety, fear or anything it will just come back eventually. I just don’t know what are some ways to tackle this barrier. I mean what are some small steps to building confidence and awareness in life. In a realistic way instead of pretending or faking it
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It’s because your inside doesn’t match your outside. In other words you’re acting like you’re happy to meet people and enthusiastic about what they’re saying, when you don’t feel that way in reality. So keeping up that level of “inauthentic-ness” can be draining.
The key is to change what’s going on INSIDE you so that your self-presentation is genuine.
Faking it till you make it doesn’t work and leads to [cognitive dissonance.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance) This can subsequently contribute to increased anxiety and depression. Your confidence has to be rooted in who you actually are, not who you pretend to be. If you want to work on this, narrow down aspects about yourself that you’re self-conscious about, and see if you can see these things in a different perspective.
If, for instance, you were self-conscious about your looks. You could start by actively analyzing what qualities you consider to be “good-looking,” and seeing if there is any part of you that it can apply to.
Faking social skills is hard, it takes energy and tends not to go very well.
I don’t think it is “fake it ’til you make it”, I think faking social skills can give you a sense of safety, the fact that you could fake it if you needed to means you can relax and “be yourself”, which is usually where the enjoyment and benefits of a social life comes from.